


Hell of a Way to Die

by CyJan



Series: Hell of a Way to Die [1]
Category: Hell of a Way to Die
Genre: Asphyxiation, CyJan, Eventual Smut, Hell of a Way to Die - Freeform, Jyan, M/M, Masturbation, Slow Burn, blowjob, handjob, warning- blood/gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-08-27 06:51:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 24,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8391478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyJan/pseuds/CyJan
Summary: ‘It was a hell of a way to die. Right out of a thriller movie. Ignorant character is in the wrong place at the wrong time, and gets themselves killed. You could laugh at me, but I don’t really care what you think. It was still bloody cool.'





	1. Well... that was interesting

‘ _It was a hell of a way to die. Right out of a thriller movie. Ignorant character is in the wrong place at the wrong time, and gets themselves killed. You could laugh at me, but I don’t really care what you think. It was still bloody cool. I’m not saying I wanted to die -not at all- it was just a really interesting feeling. The feeling of the cool, sharp blade, piercing my skin, only to be pushed further through my body, until it protruded from the other side. And the taste of the bullet as it passed through my mouth from the back—but enough of that. It’s in the past. Now I’ve got a new problem ahead of me.’_

_‘I’m still here.’_

‘ _My name is Ryan Beltran, and that’s about the most important thing you need to know about me. I’m dead already so it’s not like I’m going to be getting some amazing job and move up in the world anytime soon. I was killed, big deal. But now, I’m walking through the barely illuminated streets of Port Pirie trying to find someone to ask them what the hell is going on. It’s very late at night so I shouldn’t expect anyone to be outside other than the occasional car that flies past, taking no notice of what’s going on around them.’_

“Dumbasses…” he mumbled to himself, as he looked up to the windows of people’s homes in the hopes that someone would still have their lights on. He turned around and began walking back the way he came, having decided this end of the street was out, and it was time to try the other end. As Ryan walked, he suddenly tripped over something heavy and fell into a warm puddle of liquid. He pulled himself up out of the puddle and wiped his face on his sleeve. Ryan took another look at the puddle and saw that it was in fact a puddle of blood.

He climbed to his feet in a rush and fell back from the limp body that layed before him. The torn red shirt sopping wet with blood. The gaping hole through the back of their neck, their eyes wide in horror. There was no mistaking it. That was his body. Limp. Empty. Dead.

“Fucking shit… that… that’s me. That’s my body. They sure as hell did a number on me haha,” He mumbled out, laughing nervously as his throat closed up and he couldn’t breathe. Laughing weakly at his own -misfortune as he put it; not really being able to think of a better word- was the best he could do to cope with it. Brush it off like a joke or a bad dream and he would be fine. Right? Ryan looked around for a moment, hoping that someone had seen it happen. He found his searching was to no avail in the end, with each house that he looked around to having their lights off and windows closed.

“God dammit,” he clicked his tongue in annoyance before climbing to his feet again, “now what do I do.” He looked down the road and saw what looked like a set of headlights in the distance and decided he’d walk towards them, hoping that he could meet them quicker and get some help. As he walked, he found that the lights weren’t getting any closer like a moving vehicles would, no, they were staying still as he approached _them_. ‘ _Their lights are on. Someone’s home and awake. They might be able to help me figure out what’s going on with me._ ’ Ryan picked up his pace and started sprinting down the street towards his single hope of understanding. When he reached the house he yelled out, only to see the lights turn out.

“Well fuck you too. Why can’t they hear me?” he banged on the door trying to grab their attention but nothing happened. His lips pressed into a line as his patience began to wear thin. Ryan looked around to see if there was another way in and saw a tree on the right side of the house. He walked around the corner to the base of the tree and saw a slightly opened window with soft light shining through the gap in the curtain. ‘ _Can’t hear me huh smart guy? Fine. I’ll just let myself in._ ’

He went to climb the tree only to find his hands were translucent compared to before. With his hands in this condition, he couldn’t climb the tree properly, but it had given him an idea. He thought as hard as he could to try and make himself fly like ghosts usually do in movies. The results were less than impressive. He only barely managed to hover a short distance off the ground in the end, but that was enough for him to use his arms to pull himself up through the tree towards the window. As he reached the window, he pushed it open and climbed through into one of the biggest messes he’d seen that day.

“Dear god your house is a wreck. Would it have killed you to clean up a bit?” he asked aloud, making the house owner jump and spin around in his chair. They stared at each other for a moment as Ryan leant down and picked up a pair of stray underwear from a pile of clothes. He gave them a small sniff before pulling away, screwing his nose up in disgust and looking towards the person in the chair.

“Had I known I was going to have visitors at three in the fucking morning, I’m sure I would have. Who the hell are you, and why are you in my house?” the man spat back. ‘ _oh. It’s a guy. Well shit,_ ’ Ryan dropped the undies back on the floor with the rest of the mess before standing tall and looking down at the man.

“I’m Ryan. I’m in your house because I need your help, but you clearly were far to engrossed in your… what are you doing anyway?” he returned as he walked up to the computer and saw Hermione Granger slapping Draco on the blurry screen, “do you not have anything better to do? Like porn?”

“So a stranger that’s just come into my house through the second story window, soaking wet, looking for help, is judging me for my life decisions?” the man retorted, pushing Ryan away from the screen. “What do you need my help for anyway? Why the hell are you all wet?”

“Funny story that. You see, down the road is a dead body. Lying in the gutter. Covered in blood. And just to add to the excitement, it’s my dead body,” he finished, staring the man dead in the eye, “oh yeah and I’m covered in blood so can I use your shower or something?” The man cocked an eyebrow at him, clearly unconvinced by his story. He got to his feet and walked over to the light switch for the room and flicked it on. When he turned back around to look at Ryan he saw the blood that coated his arms and the smudges of red that coated his left cheek. He was in shock. All he could do was stand there, staring open mouthed at Ryan, who only looked confusedly back. “What? Didn’t you believe me?”

 

 


	2. Two Boys, a Body, and a Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You still haven’t told me your name dumbass. It might be helpful for me to know it,” he returned, sarcasm dribbling off his tongue in strings. He kicked off his shoes in the doorway next to the blond man’s shoes without breaking eye contact with him as he climbed the stairs.

Ryan walked out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel, a deep navy bathrobe draped over his shoulders. He looked down the hallway towards the young man’s bedroom and saw him slipping on a warm jumper and some old slippers. The blond man looked up to where Ryan was standing, only to eye him over, “that’s mine.”

“Yes, and its comfy, your point?” Ryan retorted, lowering his hands to his side, leaving the towel to sit on his head.

“Take it off ass hat. You can’t just take shit, not if you want my help,” the man growled back as he walked over and pulled the towel off Ryan’s head, “where is it?”

“Well excuse me. And you mean my body? Down the street away from the park,” he answered with a shrug, as he slid the robe off and dropped it to the floor before picking it up again and hanging it on the door. The blond man looked at him quizzically before rolling his eyes and heading for the stairs. Ryan followed him down the stairs and out the door as the pair turned right and followed the path till they caught a glimpse of flashing lights.

Almost the entire area had become an active crime scene. ‘ _Someone must’ve seen after all._ ’ Ryan floated himself up steadily so he could see above the bustling sea of policemen and investigators. Ryan floated closer and found that they couldn’t actually see him at all. He narrowed his eyes before turning around and returning to the young man’s side. He gave the blond man a nudge and grabbed his phone out of his hands. Ryan hovered his way back over to the scene and took pictures of his dead body before returning to his new acquaintance once more, and handed him back his phone.

When they both returned back to the house Ryan tried to walk through the door as the other closed it behind him, only to be hit square in the face, “ouch, fuck. The hell was that for?”

“What was what for? You’re the ghost, shouldn’t you be able to walk through walls and shit?” The man replied without so much as a glance back, his attention occupied by the very real pictures of Ryan, bloody and dead. ‘ _And yet, he’s still here bothering me._ ’

“Oi, you listening?”

“Sorry, what?” he replied, shaken out of his daze by an obnoxiously loud Ryan.

“You still haven’t told me your name dumbass. It might be helpful for me to know it,” he returned, sarcasm dribbling off his tongue in strings. He kicked off his shoes in the doorway next to the blond man’s shoes without breaking eye contact with him as he climbed the stairs.

“Jeremy Baileys,” he mumbled out. He continued to stare back at Ryan for a bit before turning away with a huff, “…ass hole.” He climbed the rest of the way upstairs and turned down the hall towards his room. Ryan watched him walk away, sticking his tongue out at him before following him up the stairs.

‘ _Jeremy huh? Nice name, I guess._ ’ When he reached the top of the stairs he peeked down the hall to see Jeremy’s door still half open. He stuck his head through the gap to see he’d layed down in bed now, seemingly having given up on his movie from earlier. Ryan slunk inside the room, doing his best not to make a sound. He moved to the side of Jeremy’s bed and climbed in under the covers with him. Jeremy rolled over and opened his brown eyes for a moment, only to be met with bright green ones staring right back at him. “Goodnight Jeremy.”

“What the fuck are you doing? Get the hell out of my bed!” he shouted, sitting bolt upright before kicking him in the stomach, trying to force him out of the bed. Ryan wheezed a small laugh as he tried to get his breath back, clutching his stomach with a weak grin.

“Nice kick. Mind kicking my breath back into my body next time? It’d be a great help,” He groaned as he braced himself at the side of the bed, “where do I sleep then?”

“Anywhere but in here with me, prick. How old are you anyway? Twelve?” Jeremy scowled, grinding his teeth in tired annoyance. ‘ _The hell is this guy’s problem? Why is he climbing into my bed like its god damn normal?_ ’

“Twenty-three actually, fuck ass. Any more stupid questions or are you done for the night?” Ryan returned, having crossed his arms over his chest once he’d got his breath back and his lungs weren’t on fire anymore.

“ _You’re_ twenty-three? Wow, I thought you were younger than me. Guess not.” Jeremy shrugged, continuing to push Ryan away with his foot, “I’m nineteen myself.”

“Nineteen!? Then why am I listening to you?” Ryan exclaimed, going in to get on Jeremy’s bed again, “I want the bed.”

“You’re not getting the bed because this is my house and you’re dead so it doesn’t matter what you want asshole! Now let me fucking sleep!” Jeremy chided, kicking him away again before pulling the covers up over his head. Ryan stood there for a moment, stooped over massaging his side. When he straitened up, his face was blank from anything other than the physical pain of being kicked twice. He walked out of the room and closed the door on the grumpy mass of sheets that was Jeremy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could barely contain myself. I had to upload the second chapter now.
> 
> Check out my tumblr (buttsbuttssbutts) for the tag 'Hell of a Way to Die' for art I've done for the story!


	3. Reading Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan stepped out of the lounge, half asleep, directly into Jeremy. When he stepped back his eyes went wide before looking down to see Jeremy wasn’t wearing his towel. “Nice.”

When Jeremy awoke, he sat up slowly, blonde hair in knotted clumps, and dark bags under his eyes. “God I’m tired…” he groaned as he threw off his covers and walked out of his room towards the shower.

After his shower, he threw his towel over his shoulder and walked downstairs to the laundry to grab his clothes for the day. When he reached the bottom of the stairs he turned down the hall towards the laundry, passing the lounge room along the way. Suddenly Ryan stepped out of the lounge, half asleep, directly into Jeremy. When he stepped back his eyes went wide before looking down to see Jeremy wasn’t wearing his towel. “Nice.”

“What the fuck?! Why are you still here you— shut the fuck up and stop staring!” Jeremy yelled, sending his fist into Ryan’s face before kneeing him in the stomach and bringing him to the ground, “get the flying fuck out of my house.”

“Good morning to you to Jeremy. Would you like some coffee? Did you sleep well? ‘oh I slept well Ryan, how about you?’ Oh I slept alright, your lounge is quite comfortable but I would have preferred a bed to be brutally honest!” Ryan wheezed out as he started to pull himself to his feet.

“Don’t mock me. Why are you still here?” Jeremy spat back. He lifted his foot and placed it on Ryan’s shoulder before kicking him back and walking down the rest of the hall and into the laundry room.

“I said I wanted your help didn’t I? I still need it. Haven’t you noticed the fact that I’m still kinda **_here_**?” Ryan replied with a groan, rubbing his head gently, checking for bruises. Jeremy came back to the doorway, dressed in a blue hoodie and a light grey shirt, with a pair of dark tracksuit pants with white stripes down the sides. ‘ _Wow he has next to no fashion sense. What a stupidly cute outfit_.’ Ryan’s face suddenly felt warm and sat up to hide his face.

“How am I supposed to help with that huh? I’m not some great philosopher.” Jeremy returned, walking around the sandy blond sat on the floor towards the kitchen.

“You haven’t heard the old fairy tale about soulmates and death? It said that when you die, your soul can’t move on without it’s match. If it’s real, then that means **_I_** have a soulmate to find.” Ryan stated proudly, exuding confidence in waves.

“You honestly believe that crap? Shit like that isn’t real- “

“The same way that ghosts don’t exist?” Ryan asked, cutting Jeremy off.

“Okay. I’ll admit, things are weird. But I am not believing in that. Also; cut me off like that again and I’ll kick your ass.” Jeremy answered him with an evil look in his eyes as he grabbed Ryan by his singlet straps and pulling him close.

Ryan’s stomach dropped out of a sense of doom. ‘ _Mental note; don’t interrupt him. I might die a second time._ ’ Ryan pried himself free from Jeremy’s grip and stepped away, his hands up in defence. “Sorry, sorry. I won’t do that again. But please, help me out here. You don’t have to help me look for them but I at least need somewhere to stay or something.”

Jeremy groaned and turned away from him, walking into his kitchen. Ryan followed him, awaiting an answer to his request. “Why are you following me around?”

“I’m waiting for an answer.”

“Don’t go holding your breath.”

“I don’t have any”

Jeremy spun around and glared at Ryan, who only grinned and shrugged in response. He turned away again, mumbling to himself as he grabbed his food and went back upstairs to his room. Ryan looked to his left at the fridge before deciding against that experiment for now, and followed Jeremy upstairs. ‘ _He’s cute, but he’s a bit of an ass isn’t he?_ ’ Once Ryan reached the top of the stairs, he saw that Jeremy had closed his door. ‘ _Think this can stop a ghost huh? It may have hit me last night, but a door is no match for me and my ethereal abilities._ ’ He floated gently off the ground as he closed in on the door at speed, only to be blocked once again, and knocked to the floor.

“Now that was a satisfying sound,” Ryan rubbed his nose and looked up to see Jeremy standing over him, the door now open, and a borderline sadistic grin on his face, “thanks for knocking this time.”

“Fuck you”

“I’d rather you didn’t. C’mon, get your ass up, I’ve got to show you something.” Jeremy waved him into his room as he turned away and approached his computer. He sat down in his chair and watched Ryan as he came in and floated above a pile of old books with a small flustered pout. Jeremy smirked again before turning to face his computer.

“So what do you have to show me then? You decided you wanted to show me your porn collection or something? Or is it something helpful?” Ryan chided, still pouting as he moved closer to see the screen.

“You’re so funny. Yes, it’s bloody helpful. You know your stupid bull crap about death and soulmates? It looks like the internet is having a field day about that little fairy tale. It’s all over the place if you bother to look for it.” Jeremy returned, clicking on an open tab and scrolling down the webpage slowly.

“Really? Awesome! So what do you get out of it all? What does it say? How do I find them?” Ryan blurted out excitedly, leaning over Jeremy’s shoulder, floating right up behind him, as he squinted his eyes at the screen.

“Read it yourself, frankly I couldn’t care less, it isn’t my problem. Figure it out and get your annoying ass out of my house.” Jeremy replied, grimacing at the invasion of his personal space. Ryan’s body visibly tensed up at Jeremy’s words, and he backed away from him and the computer screen slowly.

Ryan turned his face away before he quietly spoke, a timid tone threading its way into his words, “Nah, I think it’s better if you read it.” Jeremy turned around and Ryan continued to avoid direct eye contact. Jeremy stood up and walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder, while the other moved around to cup Ryan’s cheek and force him to look back. Jeremy gave a small, but deadly smile, before smacking Ryan upside the head.

“Read it yourself. I’m not your fucking mother.” Jeremy spat as he let go of Ryan.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?’

“I need… glasses… to read…”


	4. I can see clearly now, my glasses are on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan can't read and Jeremy doesn't want to. Let the games begin

“That’s it?”

“That’s it?! The fuck do you _mean_ that’s it? I can’t read without glasses and that’s a big fucking problem for me you fuck ass!” Ryan yelled back, getting red in the face from embarrassment.

“No no no, that’s not what I meant. I meant ‘that’s it’ as in, that’s easily fucking fixed. Calm down Ryan.” Jeremy told him, waving his hands at him slowly in defence. Ryan stopped and stared at him in silence, mouth sealed shut, holding in his anger and his very breath. ‘ _That’s the first time he’s called me by my name since I got here isn’t it? It’s nice to hear him say it._ ’ Ryan let out an extended sigh as he calmed himself down, his shoulders sagging down as his dead lungs emptied themselves.

“If it’s so easily fixed, then why don’t you tell me how to fix it, Mr genius Jeremy,” Ryan retorted with a small pout, frustrated at himself for how flustered he felt.

Jeremy looked at Ryan quizzically and smiled. ‘ _What a looser haha. He’s cute when he’s embarrassed._ ’ Jeremy cut himself off there. He wasn’t sure why he was thinking that about Ryan, but he didn’t want to continue down the rabbit hole any deeper than that, “you can just go buy a new pair of glasses can’t you? They weren’t majorly prescribed or anything were they?”

“They kinda were. I know the lenses I need and everything since I’d just gotten new one’s last week anyway. I don’t exactly have any money though.” Ryan answered, fiddling with the hem of his shirt absentmindedly. Jeremy furrowed his brow as his sat down at his computer chair and opened up a new tab.

“Did you get them from anywhere special?”

“Not really, just from an optometrist over near the old train station.”

“This place?”

“Yeah that’s them.”

“Let’s go then.”

“What?” Ryan moved out of Jeremy’s way as he strolled over to put on some shoes. Ryan followed him as he walked out of his room, downstairs, and into the entrance-way. “Where are we going?”

“To get you some new glasses. I’ll pay for them; you just get what you need.” Jeremy replied, grabbing his house key and his wallet off of the bench by the doorway. Ryan stared open mouthed at Jeremy for a moment, like his brain could not compute the words that had just come out of Jeremy’s mouth. He then flung himself at Jeremy, almost bowling him over.

“You’re serious? Right? Oh my god thank you so much. I really owe you one Jeremy. You’re fucking awesome,” he blurted out, hugging him tightly, wrapping his legs around his body in a bear hug. Jeremy tried to free his arms to push the highly attached older man off of him, however Ryan only tightened his grip before finally letting go. Jeremy frowned at Ryan who only grinned and laughed before reaching his arm over and fucking with Jeremy’s hair, “angry baby haha.”

Jeremy immediately slapped Ryan’s hand away and stormed back upstairs, calling back to Ryan, “you can go by yourself.”

“Hey. Hey, wait! C’mon I was kidding, come back! I don’t want to go alone! I need money! Oi!!”

* * *

They reached the old train station and crossed the road into the bustling crowd of people who were strolling through the series of stores along the street mall. Ryan looked around to try and spot the optometrist’s sign as he and Jeremy waded their way through the crowd. Jeremy shrunk in next to Ryan as he tried to avoid contact with as many of the crowd members as possible. Ryan would move through the crowd far more seamlessly than Jeremy did. He’d slip along beside Jeremy, apologising to people as he moved through.

No one really seemed to be bothered by Ryan as he wormed his way through the flowing crowd, but he wasn’t too bothered about it. He was a man on a mission. He stopped for a moment and pointed to a sign and called back to Jeremy who was a few meters behind him.

“That’s it Jeremy! That’s the place that should still have everything from my last appointment! C’mon lets—“ Ryan suddenly cut himself short as an arm moved through his body. The arm was soon followed by a leg, a torso, a head; a whole person. Once they had stepped through him completely, they physically shivered, one of the people walking with them turned to look at her with a laugh.

“Someone must be dancing on your grave if you’re shivering like that in here haha” they teased, slapping a hand on her shoulder as they nodded in agreement and kept walking like nothing had happened. Jeremy watched as the trio walked away, frowning at them under his hair. He looked over to where Ryan was standing and saw that the excited look on his face was gone. That wasn’t all that was different however. As Jeremy got closer, he noticed that Ryan wasn’t moving. Ryan wasn’t saying anything, he wasn’t smiling, he was just standing there. His face was devoid of the colour and emotion that usually danced among his features with each word he spoke. His eyes were empty and glazed over, unblinking as Jeremy closed the final meter between them.

“Hey, Ryan, you okay? What happened?” Jeremy asked, reaching his hand out to touch Ryan’s shoulder. As his fingers came into contact with Ryan’s shoulder, he flinched away, his face suddenly filled with fear. He looked at Jeremy’s concerned face and he relaxed slightly, looking at the floor. Jeremy frowned deeper before moving his arms around to hold the air around Ryan, “come on, we’ll go back home. You just need to walk along with me okay? You don’t have to say anything. We’ll try another day okay?”

* * *

 Ryan said nothing as he walked slowly alongside Jeremy back to the house. Jeremy lead him upstairs and into his room before sitting him down on his bed. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. You can have a shower if you want, and have a rest in my bed until you feel better okay?” Ryan sat there in silence as Jeremy turned around and left the room to let Ryan rest. ‘ _I hope he’s okay. Surely whatever happened was definitely not good, but hopefully this is going to help him feel better. I’ll let him rest for a bit, then bring him some food I guess…_ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my children


	5. A Loving Gesture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Fuck it"

Jeremy came upstairs a few hours later to see that Ryan had curled up under the covers and was facing the wall. He knocked against the door and saw that Ryan jumped a little at the sudden noise. He let out a soft sigh as he approached the bed and sat down by Ryan’s feet.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, leaning back to try and see Ryan’s face. No response. Jeremy turned away, putting his hands in his lap, eyes downcast as he wracked his brain for something to say. When he thought of something, he turned back to Ryan as he spoke, “you know… those people were just rude. I’m sure they don’t know what they’re talking about…” Ryan curled up tighter, hiding his face completely from view. Jeremy slunk down before flopping back on the bed with a thud.

‘ _Why won’t he say anything… I need to find a way to make him feel better…_ ’ Jeremy’s eyes went wide as he sat up, a new found determination boiling his blood. He got up and moved into his computer chair and began typing into the search bar of a new tab. After a few minutes of manic scrolling and clicking, he found what he was looking for. He began to read the front page of the site, humming as he skimmed over it, looking for anything on Ryan’s situation. Then he found it. A small article on the theory behind the fairy tale Ryan was so excited about.

He read each word with earnest, looking for anything that could cheer Ryan up or at least get him to talk again.

“Once dead, if their soulmate is still alive, it is believed they will roam the mortal plain until they either find them or they die as well…” Jeremy mumbled to himself, too quietly for Ryan to hear, “it is believed that the soulmate of the deceased will be the only one who can see them, and even the only one who can interact with them at all… wait what?” Jeremy read over that last line several times. Again and again, but no matter how many times he read it, the words didn’t change. ‘ _No fucking way. I’ve known him for like two days now. Barely even two days! No way is this right. No, no, no, no._ ’ Jeremy turned to look at Ryan, who still hadn’t moved. He shook his head and turned back to the computer screen, closed the tab and got up from his chair.

“I’m going out okay? I’ll be back soon… probably,” Jeremy called to Ryan from the doorway. Ryan moved slightly and Jeremy took that as he heard him. He left the room, walked downstairs and left the house completely.

* * *

 

Ryan opened his eyes after a dreamless sleep and rolled onto his back. His right arm was dead after laying on it for so long. He stared at the roof of Jeremy’s bedroom and blinked lazily. He turned his head to the left and saw that the door was open and that Jeremy wasn’t there. At least not that he could see from the bed. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes with a yawn, stretching his back out as well. After that he pulled his knees up close to himself and hugged the blanket. He took slow, deep, breaths as his eyes scanned the dark room. ‘ _It must be pretty late… where did Jeremy say he was going?_ ’

Ryan looked over to see the light on Jeremy’s computer was flashing. Out of curiosity, he decided to go over and find out what was wrong with it. He moved the mouse and the monitor came to life.

“Shit,” he mumbled, the blurry small font hurting his eyes about as much as the irritatingly bright screen. From what he could make out it was some random notification. He stepped away from the computer and walked towards the door of the room. He looked out and saw that the light in the hallway was on. He left the room and slowly descended the staircase. He walked down the hallway, but no one was there. His shoulders drooped in disappointment as he turned around to go back upstairs. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, the door opened. Ryan turned to look at a scruffy looking Jeremy and cocked his head to the side when Jeremy smiled at him and ushered him upstairs, bags in his hands.

“What’s up Jeremy?” he asked, watching as he placed the bags down on his desk by the computer.

“I bought a few things. I got some dinner and sorted some stuff out. Got something for you to try as well, come here and close your eyes.” Jeremy replied in a rush, grabbing Ryan’s wrist and pulling him closer. Ryan opened his mouth to ask Jeremy what was going on, he clapped his hand over Ryan’s mouth and smiled. Ryan sighed and closed his eyes and Jeremy removed his hand. Ryan creased his brow in confusion as he felt something get placed on his face.

“Open your eyes ass hat,” Jeremy told him in a happy tone and Ryan opened his eyes slowly. When his eyes focused, he moved his right hand up to adjust his glasses. ‘ _Wait what_ ’ he thought to himself, eyes flying wide open as he stared at Jeremy who appeared to be blushing slightly.

“Jeremy you—“

“Yes I did. I went out to grab your glasses. I did of course also grab food, but I thought if you at least had these, then maybe today wouldn’t have been such a let-down. Are they the right ones?” Jeremy asked, a smile evident on his lips as he low-key admired Ryan’s ecstatic expression.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! How could today be a let-down with you around?” Jeremy blushed harder and avoided eye contact as Ryan continued, “yes they’re perfect. I can’t believe you did this for me. You’re amazing!”

“C’mon it’s not that big of a deal you spaz. Now you can go find your soulmate and whatever too. Just know, you’re welcome here whenever you need it.” Jeremy closed his mouth quickly after finishing that sentence. ‘ _Shit why did I tell him that, now he’s gonna keep bothering me here with his stupid face._ ’ Ryan looked at Jeremy’s red face and smiled, eyes watering slightly as he leaned in and hugged him close. He pulled back from the hug and saw that Jeremy was still red in the face and he couldn’t help himself. He leaned back in and kissed him on the lips for a good few moments. Jeremy’s eyes flew wide open as Ryan’s lips pressed against his. He couldn’t do anything; his body wouldn’t move. Ryan’s eyes were screwed shut, and all Jeremy wanted was to see them open again. He wanted to see those beautiful green eyes stare back at him. He found his eyes closing slowly as Ryan’s lips massaged his own, and he gave into the kiss. His only thought as those warm lips pressed against his own were, ‘ _fuck it_ ’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so now everything starts getting cute, but it also starts falling apart hahaha


	6. A Kiss Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Don’t look at him. Don’t do it. You know it’s a bad idea so don’t do – and you’re doing it.’

Jeremy pulled away from Ryan, panting lightly, face bright red as he looked down his nose, away from Ryan’s bright green eyes. ‘ _Don’t look at him. Don’t do it. You know it’s a bad idea so don’t do – and you’re doing it_.’ Jeremy stared into Ryan’s eyes, head screaming at him to push him away, to make him let go, to just stop staring into his eyes like that, but his body refused to listen. Jeremy gripped at the sleeves of Ryan’s shirt, struggling with what he wanted to do.

Before Jeremy could even speak however, Ryan let him go and stepped away from him, looking away, “thank you for buying me a new pair of glasses. It’s pretty late now though, we should sleep. Night.” Ryan wouldn’t look back a Jeremy, which stabbed like a million needles into his chest. Jeremy hummed and nodded in agreement before mumbling a half-assed ‘goodnight’ back to Ryan as he left the room. Jeremy walked over to the light switch and turned it off before climbing into his bed. ‘ _It’s still a mess after Ryan layed in here all day..._ ’ he rolled onto his side and pulled the blanket close to his face as he took a deep breath to try and calm down. All he managed to get though, was a big whiff of Ryan, which sent his mind reeling about the feeling of his lips pressed against his. Jeremy grumbled to himself as he hid his head under the covers.

‘ _Stupid Ryan and his stupid face. Why does it have to be him?_ ’

* * *

The next morning Jeremy woke up early after a restless night’s sleep and he dragged himself into the shower. After waking himself up with a warm shower, he dried himself off and wrapped his towel around his waist. He opened the door to leave the bathroom, only to find Ryan with a towel he’d borrowed in hand, about to go in. Jeremy could feel his face start turning red as he quickly stepped out of the room and went downstairs to grab his clothes for the day. Ryan snuck a glance at Jeremy as he rushed his way down the stairs and covered his face as a smile spread across his lips. He shook his head, then stepped inside the bathroom and closed the door.

Jeremy hit his head against the doorway to the laundry in an attempt to get his mind off the subject. After a few minutes, he heard the shower stop and knew Ryan was going to be leaving the bathroom as soon as he was dry and dressed. He looked down at himself and saw that he still hadn’t managed to get dressed for the day and he silently cursed himself for being so absent minded.

He hurriedly threw on some clothes and walked back upstairs. He quickly slipped into his room and closed the door behind him before sliding to the floor and covering his face. ‘ _No, no, no, no! This can’t be right. He can’t like me. Not after the trouble I caused him. He’s just confused. Cute and confused and lost and ugh. He’s not interested in you, and that article was full of shit. No way is this my soulmate. Nope. Not gonna happen._ ’

Jeremy jumped as he heard a gentle knock on his door. He climbed to his feet and opened the door rather hastily compared to his usual.

“Hey. So I just wanted to borrow your computer if that’s okay? I still need to read up about this whole ‘dead but still here’ thing” Ryan asked, looking at Jeremy. Jeremy could tell he wasn’t looking at him in the eye, just at his face. It hurt.

‘ _No it doesn’t hurt, what am I thinking. It’s fine._ ’

“Yeah of course you can. I’m just going to have breakfast. Want anything?” Jeremy internally slapped himself in the face. ‘ _Are you fucking kidding me. ‘Want something?’ That’s what I go with? He’s dead, of course he’s not going to want anything. Idiot._ ’

“Nah, I’ll be fine. Not that hungry. Thank you for the offer.” Ryan replied with another obviously forced smile. Jeremy felt sick seeing him force a smile like that. ‘ _I want his normal smile back_.’

* * *

After around an hour or so, Jeremy heard Ryan come downstairs. He jumped to his feet and ran into the hallway to talk to him. “Ryan I—what are you doing?” Jeremy stared at Ryan as he slipped his shoes on. Ryan looked up from his feet and plastered a soft smile on his face before standing upright.

“Hey Jeremy. I’m going out, that’s what I’m doing. I read up about my situation, so now I’m going to find my soulmate.” Jeremy felt his heart sink. ‘ _Was that article I read really a lie then? So he’s not my soulmate? And I’m not his? So that kiss was a mistake then. A spur of the moment sort of thing, right?_ ’ Jeremy’s head was reeling all over again. Question after question flooding through his mind like a tidal wave.

“That’s great Ryan. I’m glad.” Jeremy replied. He wanted to say more, but he couldn’t find the words; he wasn't even sure how much longer he could keep a straight face. He was confused. Why was he able to touch him if Ryan was acting like this about the whole situation? Like that kiss hadn't happened. Like it wasn't warm and soft and just... amazing. Ryan looked at Jeremy and smiled. It looked forced.

“Don’t frown like that. I’ll be visiting when I need somewhere to stay. It’s not like I’ll find them that fast.” Ryan hugged Jeremy softly before pulling away and walking to the door, leaving Jeremy's arms empty and cold while his heart sunk lower in his chest. He waved goodbye as he walked out the door and Jeremy waved back. He walked upstairs and into his room. He sat at his computer chair and spun himself around slowly for a bit, looking at the mess that still covered his floor. The mess that Ryan had complained about when he’d first got there. Jeremy smiled fondly as warmth spread through his body as he thought back to when they’d got back from looking at Ryan’s body and how Ryan ran into his door.

Jeremy let out a long groan as he slid down in his chair until he slipped out completely and was laying on the floor. He dragged himself along his floor to his bed side, whining with each move he made as he pulled himself to his feet. He stood at his bed side for a moment before flopping down face first into the mattress with a loud groan.

“Don’t go dammit.”


	7. A Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy misses Ryan... a lot

Three days. Three days without being called fuck ass. Three days without being bumped into. Three days without his personal space being invaded. Three days without Ryan.

And he hated it.

It was too quiet in his house without the obnoxious older man. He missed his snide remarks, and his stupid smile. He hated how he felt like this. He still didn’t want to believe what was written in that article. ‘ _It had to be a lie. Otherwise he would have stayed. Maybe he read a different article. Ugh I don’t know anymore. Just come back. Please._ ’ Jeremy rolled around in his bed, hugging his blanket close and breathing in what was left of Ryan’s lingering scent. He screwed his eyes shut as he breathed in, imagining three days ago when Ryan had kissed him. The feeling of those lips against his; soft and warm, massaging his own lips with passion. Even though he was dead, they still felt so beautifully warm against his own.

Jeremy’s heart rate began to pick up the more he thought about it. He grasped the blanket tighter, taking deeper breaths each time. His legs wrapped tightly around the blanket whilst his left hand palmed at the blanket towards his abdomen, slowly moving further down as his right hand gripped tightly to the part of blanket that covered his face. He whined slightly as he began to grind gently against the blanket. His left hand settled over his crotch as he ground up against it again.

Jeremy had started panting into the blanket, body warm and face flushed red. He pulled himself away from the blanket and rolled onto his back. He propped himself up with his pillow and pulled his pants off. Cool air flowing in from his window hit his exposed shaft and made him shiver. He looked over at his window, but was too preoccupied to get up and close it now. He placed his hand on his hardening cock and began to slowly pump up and down, spreading the lube along it as he stroked himself.

He let out a small groan as he continued to pump himself, mouth hanging open slightly as his breathing became progressively more laboured. Jeremy closed his eyes and pictured Ryan kissing him again, as he did so, his cock gave an earnest twitch and Jeremy choked back a moan.

“Mmm, nng,” he grunted between clenched teeth. His hips twitched up into his hand as his imagination slipped deeper into his thoughts. Jeremy began to imagine Ryan working his way down his chest to his abdomen with kisses. Seeing him nearly reach his cock, he grabbed Ryan by his hair, eliciting an excited moan from his lips. Jeremy rolled his hips into his hand at the thought of Ryan moaning like that because of him.

“Aaahh… Ryan…” he moaned quietly as he stroked himself faster, still imagining Ryan’s flushed face, tears of pleasure in his eyes. More moans began slipping out of him as each motion of his hand brought him closer and closer to his release. He opened his eyes slightly and looked up to his roof, mouth agape as he moaned syllables resembling Ryan’s name. He lowered his head as he felt a wave of pleasure crash over him, having reached his orgasm, one name prominent on his lips.

“Ry-aaahn,” he moaned loudly, his cock twitching in his hand in the afterglow of his orgasm. He opened his eyes properly and looked up to find a figure standing by his window near the end of his bed. Their face was red as a tomato as they raised a hand to wave to Jeremy.

“Hi… Jeremy… uhm,” the person said, not being able to take their eyes off of Jeremy. Jeremy opened his mouth to yell at him, but he couldn’t get the words out at first. When he finally found his words, he pulled the blanket over himself and sat forward.

“Ryan what the fuck. Use my fucking door. And learn to knock for fuck’s sake!”

* * *

Ryan waited outside the door to Jeremy’s bedroom, having been verbally abused until he left to let him clean up. Jeremy opened the door, brows knitted together with an angry pout on his face. ‘ _God I’ve missed that._ ’ Ryan walked into the room and Jeremy closed the door behind him.

“What the flying fuck Ryan. Where did you go? Why did you leave like that? Why are you back? And why did you use my window to get in again!?” Ryan was taken aback as Jeremy blurted out question after question. He smiled nervously and raised his hands in defence.

“Slow down slow down. I can’t answer you that fast, jeez. I went looking for my soulmate I told you that, didn’t I?” he answered, lowering his hands again.

“Yes, but—” Jeremy cut himself off, realising what he was about to say. He took a deep breath and tried again, “yes you did, but you never said why you had to leave then. You didn’t even come back at all for three god damn days. And now, you’re back here, bothering me again with your cute stupid face!” Jeremy returned, gritting his teeth.

“My what face?” Jeremy froze. ‘ _Shit. Fuck. I just said he was cute. Why did I do that. I’m supposed to be mad._ ’ Ryan’s face turned red and he moved his left hand to cover his mouth and hide his quiet laugh. Jeremy saw his shoulders shaking as he covered his mouth and growled. He approached Ryan and punched him in the shoulder.

“Aah! Fuck. Haha sorry, it was just really cute.” Jeremy’s face turned redder as he lifted his fist to hit him again, “go on, I deserve it. Hit me all you like.”

“What? Do you _want_ me to hit you or something?” At those words Ryan’s eyes went wide and he stopped laughing. After a moment, Ryan laughed nervously in response. Jeremy narrowed his eyes and walked closer to Ryan, looking him up and down when he stopped right in his face.

“I’m going to have fun with this bit of information.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now... porn sjdbosjdvoj


	8. Exploring Ryan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the chapter title says it all

Ryan stood still as Jeremy slowly circled him, pinching his arms and shoulders. His eyes followed Jeremy who looked like he was deep in his own thoughts. Ryan fidgeted slightly, wanting to scratch his left shoulder. Jeremy looked up at Ryan from beneath his fringe and temporarily put off his investigation.

“What’s up with you?”

“My shoulder’s itchy. Surely you’ll let me move for that?”

“No, I said you weren’t allowed to move until I gave the okay. This is what you get for leaving me for three days and then climbing in my window again,” Ryan let out a small whine at Jeremy’s words. Jeremy gave a sigh, standing upright before speaking, “I’ll scratch it don’t worry. Which shoulder?”

“Left” Ryan replied, letting out a small breath of relief. Jeremy scratched at Ryan’s shoulder and Ryan sighed happily.

“Over a little bit,” he requested, enjoying the relief. When Jeremy moved his hand over, it went further than Ryan expected and a sudden chill ran through his body as he tensed up and sucked in a sharp breath. Jeremy’s eyes widened at Ryan’s reaction and he removed his hand from his shoulder. A faint tint of pink coated Ryan’s face as he looked back at Jeremy, whose hand returned to scratching his shoulder in that same spot. Ryan held his lips tightly together as wave after wave hit him, his body tingling as Jeremy scratched the scar underneath his shirt sleeve. Jeremy stopped after a bit, seeing that Ryan was adamant in keeping his mouth shut. He moved the sleeve of Ryan’s singlet over to find a scar from a bullet wound. He looked up to Ryan’s eyes, giving him a questioning look.

“When I died, I was shot there,” he managed to get out, his voice sounding slightly off, but at least he hadn’t cracked under the delicious torment Jeremy was giving him earlier. Jeremy nodded and hummed at Ryan’s answer, staring intently at the scar, rubbing his chin. He moved his hand from his face to gently touch the scar again and noticed Ryan tense up again. He grinned sadistically, grabbing Ryan by the shoulders and forcing him to focus on his face.

“Is it sensitive there or something? You keep tensing up when I touch it. Surely you didn’t die from a little injury like that. Surely, you have more sensitive scars on your body. Don’t you, Ryan?” Jeremy’s eyes glinted darkly as he watched Ryan’s face grow redder than before. He let out a small laugh as he spun Ryan around and lifted up the back of his shirt. Sure enough, he found a large scar along his spine on his lower back, “found one~” he whispered in a sing song tune against Ryan’s neck. Ryan held his mouth shut tight, doing his best not to make a sound. Jeremy smirked behind him and dragged his fingertips gently along the scar from the bottom to the top. Ryan’s body shivered underneath his touch as he breathed heavily through his nose.

“Does it feel nice, Ryan? How about this…” Jeremy cooed. Before he could reply, Ryan felt Jeremy dig his fingers in harder as he dragged them down the scar. Ryan’s back arched as his mouth slipped open and a deep moan escaped his lips. Jeremy let out a small satisfied laugh as he brought his face right up beside Ryan’s left ear, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Ryan didn’t even respond; his breathing laboured and his face red, he whined as Jeremy dragged his fingers gently back up his spine. He didn’t want to admit it, but it felt amazing with Jeremy’s hands roaming over his back like that, especially when he scratched him like that. He wanted more. Ryan felt lips press gently on his shoulder before they were followed by teeth, nibbling at his skin. He tilted his head to the side slightly, giving Jeremy better access to him as he scratched down his back again. Ryan let out another wordless moan, louder than the last, and he felt Jeremy smile against his skin.

“…or…” he whimpered, Jeremy lifting his head from Ryan’s shoulder for a moment.

 “What was that Ryan?” Jeremy asked in a teasing tone, stopping his hand now as well, watching Ryan’s pained face.

“More… please…” He slowly let out between pants, screwing his eyes shut as he moved himself closer to Jeremy. Jeremy grinned as he watched Ryan desperately trying to get him to continue.

“Gladly,” was all Jeremy said as he reached his left arm around to scratch at Ryan’s abdomen, looking to see if the scar was on the other side of him as well. Much to his joy, it was, and Ryan sucked in his stomach as he shrunk into Jeremy’s arms. Jeremy’s right arm moved around to his front as well, gently tracing Ryan’s collar bones, just barely missing the scar on his left shoulder. He licked, kissed, and nibbled his way along Ryan’s shoulder to his neck where he began working on another hickey and bit down hard.

“Aaah! Pleeaase… Jeremy ple-ease aaahh~” Ryan blurted out without a second thought. He ground back into Jeremy, who momentarily halted to recover his composure. He moved his left hand lower, inching closer to Ryan’s crotch. Ryan reached his left arm back to grip onto Jeremy and pull his warm body closer to his own. He could feel Jeremy’s heart racing like his own and it filed his heart with joy. Ryan looked down to see Jeremy’s hand unbuttoning his jeans and he blushed harder again, “J-Jeremy I- wait--!”

Jeremy’s hand ventured into Ryan’s pants and began palming at his hardening cock. Ryan let out choked moans at the contact. Even though it wasn’t direct, it still sent his senses into overdrive. His hips twitched as he tried to control himself, however, this only caused Jeremy to begin rubbing him faster as he continued to kiss and suck at Ryan’s shoulder. Jeremy’s right hand gripped onto Ryan’s other shoulder as he ground his hips against Ryan, who continued to moan at the friction on his now throbbing shaft.

Ryan could feel that Jeremy was hard now too and it sent a shiver of pleasure through his body. He ground back into Jeremy’s crotch a few times, eliciting small pleasured grunts from the younger man. Jeremy grinned against Ryan’s skin as he pulled his hand away from his cock and Ryan whimpered loudly.

“Don’t you sound desperate? Does it really feel that good? My hand pumping your cock like that? I’m not even touching you properly yet and you’re already whimpering like a dog in heat,” Jeremy murmured into Ryan’s ear in a low, seductive tone as he moved his left hand away from Ryan’s crotch and up under his shirt, “take it off.” he told Ryan in a commanding tone and Ryan quickly obliged, slipping his shirt off and throwing it to the floor. The moment he was rid of his shirt, he turned to face Jeremy who had thrown off his jumper as well. Jeremy promptly leant in a pressed his lips tightly to Ryan’s, gripping his shoulders and pulling him close. Ryan whimpered as he felt Jeremy’s leg grind against his still clothed member, opening his mouth enough to allow Jeremy to slip his tongue inside.

“Ah…” he tried to speak, but Jeremy wouldn’t let up, his hands making their way down Ryan’s back. Jeremy broke the kiss, his breathing heavy, and his eyes lidded slightly as he looked into Ryan’s green eyes.

“Bed… now…”


	9. It's Mutual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When you came back. How much did you see?” Jeremy repeated, watching Ryan’s face intently, awaiting an answer

“Jeremy… please…” Ryan whined, squirming underneath Jeremy as he toyed with him. He gently nibbled Ryan’s nipple whilst his left hand caressed Ryan’s waist.

“Please what Ryan? Tell me what you want. Ask me nicely, and maybe I’ll do it for you.” Jeremy teased, continuing to avoid Ryan’s scars and his neglected shaft. Ryan whimpered, rolling his hips up in an attempt to get some sort of friction down there. When he did, Jeremy bit down hard on his nipple and Ryan let out a yelp.

“Again”

“Again, what?”

“Again. Please. Please bite me again. I want to feel it. Please. I don’t care if you make me bleed, just please bite me!” Ryan begged, arching his back and looking at Jeremy’s face, his eyes glinting in that same sadistic way they did when he first found how much he enjoyed being hurt like this. Jeremy moved his head over to Ryan’s other nipple, licking it gently at first before biting into it as well. Ryan moaned, now writhing beneath Jeremy, desperate for more.

“God… why’d you have to leave like that. If you had’ve stayed I could’ve gotten you moaning like this much sooner… mmm,” Jeremy hummed as he ground up against Ryan himself, eliciting yet another delicious moan forth from the back of his throat. He wanted more though. He thought back to earlier when Ryan had actually returned and smirked as an idea formed in his head. He pulled himself away from Ryan who immediately whined at the absence of his touch.

“Jeremy, what are you?”

“How much did you see?”

“Huh?”

“When you came back. How much did you see?” Jeremy repeated, watching Ryan’s face intently, awaiting an answer. Ryan averted his eyes for a moment before returning Jeremy’s gaze, albeit not as intensely out of how flustered he felt after being asked about it.

“I… I heard you call my name” he replied quietly, looking away again. Jeremy grinned and leant down closer to Ryan’s red ears.

“And my cock? Did you see that? I was sooo hard because of you, you know. I couldn’t help myself.” He whispered in a sultry tone, licking at Ryan’s ear. Ryan shivered at Jeremy’s words, parting his lips to try and catch his breath a little. A small moan slipped out as his mouth opened and Jeremy grinned. He climbed off of Ryan completely and sat back, bracing himself with his arms. Ryan sat up slightly and looked at Jeremy. As his eyes roamed he saw that Jeremy was hard as well, and he vocally gulped as he took in the sight of Jeremy’s pants straining to contain his hard on.

“I heard that.” Ryan looked up suddenly and fidgeted in his seat. He Sat up properly then crawled over to Jeremy, moving in to give him a quick kiss. After a quick kiss on his lips, Ryan started working his way down Jeremy’s chest, lifting his shirt of him as quickly as he could. Soon, Ryan had reached Jeremy’s bellybutton, ever so close to the hem of Jeremy’s pants.

“Can I?” Ryan asked, tugging gently at Jeremy’s pants. Jeremy nodded in approval, smiling down to Ryan. Jeremy lifted his hips enough for Ryan to tug off his pants and underwear, releasing his hard member. Ryan stared at it for a moment before leaning in and kissing the underside. Jeremy took in a short breath at the sudden contact and parted his lips with a smile. Ryan looked up to Jeremy’s face as he stuck out his tongue and licked along it until just before he reached the head. Jeremy shivered and grunted pleasantly, coaxing Ryan further. Ryan licked and kissed at the head before closing his lips around it and sucking at the head. Jeremy gasped and choked back a moan, trying to keep his composure as Ryan’s tongue circled around his tip. After a bit of teasing, Ryan took Jeremy deeper into his mouth and Jeremy couldn’t help but moan as the heat of Ryan’s mouth encompassed him.

“Aaaahnn… Ryannn…” he groaned out as Ryan bobbed his head up and down. Jeremy could feel a knot growing deep inside him as Ryan continued, his orgasm approaching steadily. Ryan pulled his head up and released Jeremy’s cock for a moment, looking up at Jeremy’s flushed face.

“Touch me,” he breathed against Jeremy's cock before kissing at the tip and lapping at the precum seeping out, “please touch me too…” Jeremy smiled and moved back to lean against his wall. He motioned for Ryan to get closer to him and Ryan obliged pulling off his pants completely and dropping them off the end of the bed. Jeremy cupped Ryan’s face in his hands and kissed him. His left hand moved down Ryan’s side and caressed his hip before moving to touch his neglected cock. Ryan moaned into Jeremy’s mouth as his fingers caressed his throbbing erection, his hips twitching back and forth, wanting more from him.

Jeremy pulled away slightly and bit Ryan’s bottom lip as his hand squeezed Ryan’s member between his fingers and his palm. Ryan mewled and thrusted into Jeremy’s hand, eyes watering. Jeremy chuckled and kissed Ryan’s neck as he began pumping him. Ryan continued to moan uncontrollably, Jeremy’s name slipping through the groans of pleasure as he rocked his hips back and forth. Jeremy’s own cock twitched wantonly as the erotic scene unfolded before his eyes. He forced Ryan to sit and straddle him as he pressed their cocks together.

“Can’t let you have all the fun now can I? C’mon… use your hand too.” Jeremy taunted, pulling Ryan’s left hand down to join his own. They began pumping their hands together, breathing heavily and moaning each other’s names as their orgasm’s approached rapidly. Their body’s melding together as they reached their limits.

“I love you. Jeremy. Jeremy, I love you!” Ryan whimpered out between breaths as his orgasm hit him, his semen coating Jeremy’s stomach. Hearing those words pushed Jeremy over the edge as well and his own cum spurted out onto Ryan. They sat there for a while, calming down from their highs before Jeremy grabbed a towel to clean them both up. They were too exhausted to have a shower and properly clean up at that stage, so they just layed down on Jeremy’s bed together.

“Did you really mean that?” Jeremy asked, looking at a half asleep Ryan who returned his gaze with a soft smile and a questioning tilt of his head.

“Mean what?”

“When you said you loved me. Did you mean that?” Jeremy repeated and watched as Ryan’s face turned completely red and he covered it with his hands as he realised what he’d told Jeremy. Jeremy laughed and pulled Ryan’s hand’s away from his face before kissing him on the forehead. “Don’t worry. I like you too Ryan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't this nice? ;)


	10. So, I'm Officially Dead Then?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hi~”
> 
> “Hi? Really? That’s what you’re going with?”
> 
> “Shut up and kiss me, dumbass”
> 
> ___________  
> I can't write funerals I'm sorry (soiskippeditandwrotesmuttystuffinstead)

“Hey Ryan, come here for a minute.” Jeremy called to Ryan one morning. Ryan floated over and rested his head on Jeremy’s shoulder. Jeremy lifted up the newspaper and pointed to a small article near the bottom of the page. Ryan skimmed over it and lifted his head off of Jeremy’s shoulder when he was done reading.

“Funeral ceremony huh? Why is it advertised in the paper like that?” Jeremy shrugged his shoulders at Ryan’s question and turned to face him.

“Do you want to go to it?”

“Go and see everyone I know crying over my lifeless corpse while the only one who can see or touch me there is you? Great plan. I’d love to have my family and friends walk right through me and shake it off like a bad dream.” Ryan answered with a pout, crossing his arms and looking away from Jeremy. Jeremy sighed and turned back to look at the article.

“I think it’d be good to go to it. See everyone again at least. If you want, we could bring them letters or something so you can talk to them that way.” Jeremy suggested. Ryan fidgeted in place as he thought it over.

“I guess that could work. You don’t mind?”

“Not at all. I should pay my respects to you anyway.” Jeremy replied closing the paper and throwing it onto the floor next to his chair. Ryan frowned as he bent over to pick up the paper.

“Even after all this time, you still haven’t cleaned up in the slightest.” Jeremy laughed and shrugged as he got up and stood in front of Ryan. He pinched his cheeks and pulled them before pecking him on the lips.

“Love you” he said teasingly, letting go of Ryan who massaged his cheeks for a moment.

* * *

It was the day of the funeral, and Ryan had borrowed some nicer clothes from Jeremy to wear. ‘ _They may not be able to see me but I still want to be respectful at a funeral… even my own._ ’ He called to Jeremy as he stepped out of their room, adjusting his tie slightly. Jeremy called back that he’d be out in a moment when he suddenly opened the bathroom door. He was dressed in a black suit with a deep navy dress shirt underneath. His hair was slicked back nicely and he had a nice cologne on. Ryan took a deep breath in through his nose as he admired Jeremy.

“You right there?”

“Perfectly fine, yes.” Ryan replied, moving his head to the left to try and tear his eyes away from Jeremy. Jeremy cocked an eyebrow and chuckled before walking up to Ryan and kissing his cheek.

“Maybe after the funeral” he teased, watching Ryan’s mouth fall open and his face turn red. Ryan slapped a hand over his face and glared at Jeremy, who only laughed in response, “come on. Let’s get going.”

* * *

When the two of them returned home Ryan was utterly exhausted and he moved towards the lounge room to flop onto the couch. Jeremy followed him after taking his shoes off at the door. He peeked around the corner to see Ryan’s waist hung over the arm of the couch, legs dangling on one side, and face pressed into the fabric of the seat. Jeremy smiled and walked past him into the kitchen to get a drink of water. Once he came out he walked past Ryan and pinched his butt as he left the room. Ryan yelped and lifted himself up to look at Jeremy who smiled before walking down the hallway to the stairs.

‘ _Piece of shit… sexy piece of shit… fuck_.’ Ryan got up from the lounge completely to follow Jeremy upstairs, only to be jumped in the hallway and trapped against the wall between Jeremy’s arms.

“Hi~”

“Hi? Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

“Shut up and kiss me, dumbass” Jeremy pressed his lips against Ryan’s, feverently kissing him over and over. Ryan kissed back as best he could, having trouble keeping up with Jeremy’s pace. Once Jeremy stopped kissing him for a moment Ryan tried opening his mouth but Jeremy squished his face between his fingers before he could. “You weren’t going to protest were you? You were the one eyeing me off earlier. You like it when I dress nicely do you?”

Ryan frowned and mumbled as he gave a small nod, knowing that Jeremy wasn’t going to understand what he said while his mouth was squashed shut like a fish. Jeremy laughed a bit before letting go of his cheeks and kissing his forehead. He trailed his right hand down Ryan’s side to his waist and gave him a seductive smile. ‘ _Fuuuuuuuuck that’s cute. And hot. And fuck just kiss me again already._ ’

“So Ryan… what do you want me to do to you?” Ryan stared wide eyed and red faced at Jeremy at his words; mind gone completely blank. Jeremy grinned at his reaction and pulled him into the lounge room again before he could get a word in otherwise. Jeremy pushed Ryan down onto the couch and straddled his waist with a sly yet sexy grin. Ryan swore he had to look like a tomato by now as Jeremy began kissing him again, sliding his tongue against his own as he gently rolled his hips.

Ryan let out an involuntary whimper as he gripped at Jeremy’s shirt, wrinkling the nice material. Jeremy broke the kiss and looked down at Ryan’s flushed face. He draped his arms over Ryan’s shoulders as he rolled his hips again, this time with more force against Ryan’s crotch and watched Ryan’s face contort in pleasure as he tried to hold back a moan.

“Why are you trying so hard to be quiet hmm? We’re the only ones who live here, It’s not like you’ll disturb anyone if you let out your voice just a little,” Jeremy teased as he moved both of his hands down to Ryan’s stomach, just above the scar there before he continued, “…or should I force your delicious voice out myself.” Ryan shivered, taking in a sharp breath as Jeremy lifted up his shirt and moved to kneel in front of him. Right between his legs. ‘ _fuck fuck fuck._ ’

Jeremy moved in closer, kissing Ryan’s inner thighs as he inched his way towards Ryan’s straining, clothed member. Instead, he left it behind, and began kissing at the scar on his stomach. Ryan gripped into the couch and shook slightly in place as Jeremy teased him. Ryan was panting heavily as Jeremy looked up and watched him, head tilted down to watch him. Jeremy moved his right hand to begin undoing Ryan’s pants, doing his best not to touch him too much yet. Ryan began squirming as soon as he noticed what Jeremy was doing, trying to move his hip so that Jeremy would touch him, but Jeremy held him in place underneath him.

“Je-remy… come on… hurry up already. I wanna- AAAH!” in the midst of his whining Jeremy had pulled Ryan’s aching, neglected shaft out of his pants and had started stroking him hard and fast. Ryan released moan after moan of both bliss and agony. With each stroke, his hips twitched and a shiver of electricity shot up along his spine. His back arched as he vainly continued to try and thrust into Jeremy’s hand, his head falling back against the couch and his eyes screwing themselves shut. Jeremy climbed up over Ryan as he stroked him and cooed to him in a soft and yet commanding tone.

“Come on, look at me. I want to see your pleasured face as you come.” Ryan opened his eyes enough for Jeremy to see green peeking out between wet lashes as tears of pleasure rolled down his face, a small amount of drool slipped from his mouth and down his chin as moans continued to spill forth from the back of his throat. Jeremy watched intently as he felt Ryan suddenly tense up and shake beneath him, his orgasm finally hitting him. Some of it got onto his suit, while most of it was on his hand and Ryan’s exposed stomach. He chuckled softly as he watched Ryan take deep breaths as he tried to calm down enough to speak again.

“Good boy”


	11. Stress Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... time to sell my soul.

“Ryan. What are you doing?” Ryan turned to face Jeremy standing in the bedroom doorway watching him lift a basket of clothes off the ground.

“Cleaning. You won’t do it and I need something to do, so why not?” Ryan returned, walking towards the doorway. Jeremy refused to move and eyed Ryan over.

“Because I like my room the way it is. I’ve been calling out to you for at least ten fucking minutes and this is why you weren’t answering me? For fucks sake Ryan, put that basket down for a minute.” Ryan put the basket down and turned back towards Jeremy who he now noticed had a bag in his hand.

“What’s that?” Ryan asked him trying to peek into the bag. Jeremy pulled it away with a grin and urged Ryan to go and sit on the edge of the bed. Jeremy made Ryan close his eyes, and Ryan eventually gave in and did as he was told. He heard the bag rustle as its contents were removed and he screwed his eyes closed tighter. Suddenly he felt Jeremy’s hands push him onto his back and begin to straddle him. Ryan felt a shiver run down his back and he squirmed in place.

“Eye’s closed remember,” Jeremy cooed as he began to slowly lift up Ryan’s shirt. He let his fingers gently drag across Ryan’s chest, looking fondly over the scars on his abdomen and chest. He picked up the item he brought in the bag and pulled it out of the small box he’d placed it in. Ryan propped himself up with his shoulders and began opening his eyes, only to be firmly scolded by Jeremy.

“Why can’t I open my eyes? Come on Jeremy, please let me see.” Ryan asked, a small whine underlying his words. Jeremy laughed lowly and moved close to Ryan’s ear.

“That would ruin your surprise… Ryan” he added his name in a much lower tone than the words that had preceded it, giving a teasing roll of his hips as he spoke. Ryan shivered and complied, continuing to keep his eyes shut as Jeremy had asked. Suddenly Ryan felt something cold drag gently across his scar on his abdomen and he let out a yelp, followed by a small, breathy moan. Jeremy chuckled and dragged the cold object along the scar again, this time with a little more force behind it. Ryan winced slightly, feeling the object cut through his skin slightly.

Ryan could hear Jeremy humming in content as he continued to drag the cold, sharp object across Ryan’s skin. Ryan continued to wince and whine as Jeremy continued to apply more and more force behind it. Every second or third movement, Jeremy would accompany it with a rough roll of his hips, causing Ryan to forget the increasing pain. Despite enjoying it with the first few movements, as it got deeper into his skin and warm blood began to flow out of the wound, Ryan became increasingly uncomfortable. When Jeremy finally stopped he let out a sigh of relief.

“H-hey Jeremy, what exactly where you doi—NNGH” Ryan bit down on his own tongue to prevent himself from yelling as he felt something suddenly plunge into his stomach through the wound Jeremy a slowly opened. His whole body shook beneath Jeremy as tears began to form at the corners of his eyes. ‘ _That’s it. I’m opening my fucking eyes_.’

When Ryan opened his eyes, he immediately wished he never had. He was met with the sight of his own blood spilling over his sides and soaking into the mattress and sheets. A pair of bloody hands braced themselves on either side of him, a knife lodged inside of his gut, protruding sickeningly out of him, blood on the handle as well as what there was of the blade that wasn’t buried within him. His eyes traced their way up Jeremy’s body and saw his face dangerously close to his own with a dark smile gracing his features.

“Surprise~ I knew you liked pain, so since you’re a ghost, I thought maybe this could satisfy you nicely? How does it feel?”

“What… the… fuck Jeremy!! It fucking hurts you asshole! Get it out. Get it out of me right now. Get it out, get it out, get it out!!” Ryan shouted, tears streaming steadily from his eyes. Jeremy sat back and frowned, drooping his shoulders.

“That’s a bit rude. I did this for you, Ryan. After the first time I didn’t expect to ever get an opportunity like this and you just throw my kindness back into my face.” Jeremy let out with a sigh, before his frown turned angry for a moment before a smile wormed its way onto his lips. He reached his hand out to grab the knife, wrapping his fingers tenderly around the handle, before twisting the blade in place slowly. Ryan screamed this time, reaching his left hand out to grab Jeremy’s wrist. Jeremy loomed further over Ryan’s body and brought his face close to his, continuing to smile grotesquely.

“Does it hurt? Does it hurt like the first time? Or should I open one of your bullet wounds too? Maybe I could stick my finder inside your shoulder and twist it around in there. How does that sound? Nice and painful?” Jeremy cooed in an oddly gentle tone as he licked at the tears in Ryan’s cheek before kissing it. Ryan shuddered, this time out of fear, his legs were getting numb and he couldn’t stop his hands from shaking. Ryan’s strength was leaving him with each trickle of blood that was squeezed out of his body under Jeremy’s weight and seeped into the mattress beneath him.

“Je…remy… what… stop it… please nng fuck…” Ryan forced out, still trying to pull Jeremy’s hand back from the knife handle. Jeremy twisted the blade again, dragging a disgruntled moan from Ryan’s throat, his eyes screwing tightly shut, tears still streaming down his face. Ryan’s hand fell from Jeremy’s wrist, no longer having the strength to keep pushing back, he stuck with his words, “Jeremy… please… I can’t… It hurts. Please stop. No more… please Jeremy.”

“Awww come on, you’re being no fun now. You aren’t even fighting me anymore. Come on. Fight back. Push me back. Fight me, bite me, kick and scream. Come on. Try and fight back,” Jeremy continued to tease as he watched Ryan shiver and lower his head. Ryan looked up to Jeremy with heavy eyelids drooped over his red, teary eyes. Ryan mouthed the same words over and over and Jeremy’s tone began to change, “Ryan. Ryan come on. I thought you liked it. Come on, fight back. Fight back Ryan. Ryan. Ryan say something. Ryan look at me. Fucking look at me. Ryan open your fucking eyes and look at me dammit!”

Ryan opened his eyes and looked at Jeremy, his body felt numb and his ears were ringing slightly, and his head was throbbing. He watched as Jeremy pulled out the knife with an odd amount of care and threw it to the side. Jeremy grabbed a towel off his floor and wrapped it quickly and tightly around Ryan’s open wound. Ryan, couldn’t feel too much properly, but he could see through tired, foggy eyes, how much care Jeremy was taking with what he was doing. In-fact Ryan could have sworn he’d seen Jeremy crying before he closed his eyes again, this time not opening them up when Jeremy started screaming at him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it clear that some of these chapters are days/weeks apart from one another??


	12. Shot Through the Heart, and You're to Blame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I shot you”
> 
> “You what?”

Ryan slowly opened his eyes, moving to stretch out, only to wince in pain. He looked down to see his stomach bandaged and bloody. The smell of the dried blood crawled up his nose and made a chill shoot down his spine. He slowly scanned the room, not seeing Jeremy till he looked to the bedside, finding him fast asleep. Jeremy’s hair was a mess, red staining some of his dishevelled blond hair. His mouth hung open slightly as he drooled onto the bed. Ryan’s eyes followed the line of his body and found that Jeremy’s still partially red hand was grasping firmly to Ryan’s. Ryan smiled weakly, a nervous twitch as he thought about the reason why Jeremy was covered in red.

Ryan looked up at Jeremy’s roof and sighed quietly, thinking back on what he could remember before the blood-loss blurred out his memory. ‘ _First time? What first time? Wasn’t that the first time he’s near killed me-_ ‘ Ryan’s train of thought hit the brakes hard, trying in vain to avoid finishing that line of thought. ‘ _No. No, no, no. He couldn’t have been. He wouldn’t have done that. I doubt he’s the kind of person who would… but he did just nearly kill me… maybe he was involved…_ ’

Ryan jumped as he heard Jeremy stir in his sleep, subconsciously tightening his grip on Jeremy’s hand. He looked at Jeremy’s sleeping face and let out a sigh of relief. Ryan turned his eyes to the bloody bandages and winced at the memory of what had happened. Jeremy had gone too far. He would have been fine with a little bit but full on stabbing him and twisting the knife inside his guts like that? Ryan wasn’t ready for it. He didn’t like thinking about it.

“I’m sorry,” Ryan quickly turned his head to face Jeremy as he squeezed his hand back before letting go and sitting up off the edge of the bed, “I… I’m so sorry.” Ryan stared at Jeremy, he wanted to say something, but none of the words were coming out of his mouth. ‘ _Why did you do that? Why did you keep going after I begged you to stop? Why did you stop in the end and not just kill me? What did you mean by ‘first time’? Were you involved in my death? Why didn’t you say anything?_ ’ The floodgates of Ryan’s mind had opened and question after question piled up in his head.

“Why did you bandage me up?” He finally managed out in a hoarse voice, watching as Jeremy froze under his gaze. Jeremy looked away for a bit, like he was ashamed of what he’d done. ‘ _And so he should be_ ’ Ryan thought to himself, watching Jeremy fidget before he looked back up.

“I didn’t want to lose you”

“Bullshit. If you didn’t want to lose me, then why the fuck did you do that in the first place huh?! And how about when I was begging for you to stop? Did you stop? No! So cut the crap and tell me the fucking truth.”

“It is the truth, I swear! I just--!”

“You what, Jeremy? What did you do? Did you decide you wanted to torture me instead?” Ryan sat up in the heat of the argument, only to fall back again with a wince and a moan, clutching his stomach. Jeremy, reached out to comfort him but stopped his hands short and pulled them away from Ryan.

“I relapsed, okay? Listen. Before you showed up, I… I didn’t exactly do particularly nice things. I was in a small group of people, who went around and… we killed people for money. An anonymous donor... it delved further into being out of boredom or for fun after a while...” Jeremy trailed off and looked away, shoulders sagging, his shame in himself evident, “… and one day. We saw you.”

Ryan looked at Jeremy, his face empty, his mind reeling with the new information. Jeremy had been there when he died. Not only that, but he was the reason he was dead. Ryan was absolutely fuming by now. He grit his teeth, and lifted his hand to hit Jeremy in the face. As he moved, he put pressure on his stomach again and a moan resonated in the back of his throat as his eyes widened and he froze in place. Jeremy looked at Ryan and concern knitted itself into his features as he got to his feet to help lower Ryan back onto the bed. Once Ryan was laying down again, he flung his arm up and smacked Jeremy across his face.

“What the fuck Jeremy!! You could’ve at least fucking told me that you were a part of that! Why did I have to die anyway? Was there a particular reason? Or were you just feeling anxious to stab something a couple times?”

“I shot you”

“You what?”

“I was the one who shot you. Back of the head first, then in the shoulder. The stab wound and slash on your chest were from other members of the group… I’m really sorry.” Ryan couldn’t bring himself to speak anymore. His jaw just hung open, lips flapping without a sound escaping them. He stared at Jeremy, his face pained and questioning as Jeremy continued to avoid his eyes. He looked to the floor at the blood coated towel he’d used before when he started fixing Ryan up.

“I should leave you be. Rest well. Shout if you need anything.” Jeremy stepped back from the bed and left the room. Ryan’s eyes followed him as he walked slowly out the door. He turned away from the door after a while, deciding to look back up at the roof. He moved his left hand down to softly caress his stomach. The blood absorbed by the bandages was mostly dried out now, and he poked at it softly. When he poked at it he felt the bandages and bits of fried up blood press into the fleshy wound beneath and drag against the sensitive flesh. He shivered violently and let out a shaky moan at the feeling. He pulled his hand away and looked at the bloody bandages, pressing down again further down the patch of blood, this time with a little more force.

“Nnn- nnngh ahh… fuck…” He muttered as he continued to shiver. He pulled his hand away and layed it down beside him, restraining himself. ‘ _Don’t do that. It’s probably not helping it heal over. Maybe I should call Jeremy back to change the bandages too… I don’t know how long these have been on, so it’s best to check._ ’ Ryan called out to Jeremy several times with no answer, and decided to give up for now, moving his hand back over the blood stained bandages. He pressed it again and let out a choked moan, arching his back slightly, making him gasp and wince as the scabby bits of blood and bandage peeled off slightly at the tension. He groaned out a few broken syllables that resembled Jeremy’s name as he felt a dull heat spread through his body.

Ryan took a few deep breaths as he looked over to the doorway to see that Jeremy wasn’t there. He looked back and forth between his body and the doorway before deciding to pull the blanket over most of him, bringing his knees up a bit to help hide his hands as they pressed against the scar in numerous places, massaging his fingertips into his stomach, mixing around the puss, blood, and mucus that surely sat beneath the dried, blood-stained bandages.

It stung, and pinched, and made him sick; but he loved it. Each time he pushed down he could feel his guts getting prodded gently through the layers. By now his face was flushed a light pink and his breathing had become uneven. He moaned quietly to himself as one hand began to edge its way closer to the hem of his pants to unto the jeans button. Once it was undone, he lowered his pants enough that his hardening shaft would no longer be confined so much. Ryan began to palm himself through his underwear as his other hand continued to stir up his juices. He closed his eyes and began to imagine Jeremy’s sadistic grin and his hands pressing at the scar rather than his own. Ryan was unable to supress the loud moan when he imagined Jeremy getting off on it as much as he was. Seeing Jeremy turned on and hopelessly red in the face, Ryan felt like he was in bliss and he moaned Jeremy’s name aloud.

“Yes, that would be me,” Jeremy answered Ryan like it was some sort of unanswered question. Ryan looked at him and saw he wasn’t wearing that shit eating grin like he usually did. He was blushing. Jeremy was one hundred percent blushing. Jeremy was standing in the doorway, red as a tomato, watching as Ryan pleasured himself on his bed. Ryan’s eyes went wide as he looked Jeremy in the eyes for the first time since he’d woken up. His eyes looked red. Like he’d been crying. Ryan reached a hand out towards Jeremy and motioned for him to come closer. At first Jeremy refused to move, but after a while he gave in and approached the side of the bed.

“You fucked up my life,” Ryan began, seeing Jeremy look down to the floor, as if expecting the worst, “but I’m glad I get to spend my death with you.” Ryan reached for Jeremy’s jumper and pulled him down for a long kiss. ‘ _I don’t think I can totally forgive him just yet. But I just can’t get him out of my head. This cute little shitlord is mine and it’s going to stay that way._ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy killing Ryan was a buddys idea, blame them for our collective heartbreak


	13. Ryan's Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little glimpse into Ryan's inner thoughts and feelings

Ryan rolled over under the covers to face Jeremy as he layed there. He was warm and his breathing was soft and slow, like a soothing rythm that followed the thrum of his heartbeat. He smiled fondly at the sleeping boy- was he a boy? He was nineteen- and pushed his fringe back to plant a soft kiss to his forehead. Ryan sat up, careful not to awaken the sleeping blond as he climbed out from under the covers, making his way to the foot of the bed to look out the window. It was a simple window, it opened out in the middle and had a simple white frame and window sill. He ran his fingers along the edge of the window slowly, taking in the feeling of the smoothly painted wood against his cool finger tips.

A soft breeze flowed through the open window, ruffling the small grey curtains at either side of the opening. Light seeped into the room through that window. Barely enough to illuminate Jeremy's soft, slumbering, features as he lay in the bed, still deep in his dream world.

"I wonder what you think," Ryan mumbled out. It wasn't really addressed to anyone, but he had a feeling he was speaking to Jeremy as well as himself, "what you think about everything that's happened since the day you killed me. Did you choose me for any other reason than 'I was there when you were'? Or was I really just in the wrong place at the wrong time?" Ryan grabbed a fistful of blanket to steady himself, his heart beating unevenly and his head spinning.

"How about me? Do you really believe the story? Do you really love me back? You tried killing me again for goodness sake. Surely I'm a burden to you." His voice grew louder and he looked away from Jeremy, gripping the sheets tighter. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down so he wouldn't wake Jeremy up. He didn't want to hear Jeremy's answers at the moment, far too encompassed by the fear he'd agree. It was around two in the morning, and this only served to stress Ryan out more, his tired mind moving a mile a minute.

"I wonder where we'd both be if I hadn't died. If I wasn't the one you killed. Would we have ever met? Would I have gotten that waiter job I applied for? Would you keep killing?" Ryan flinched as he felt the bed move, looking back to see Jeremy had rolled onto his side, facing Ryan, with a small trickle of drool forming at the corner of his lip. Ryan smiled softly, swallowing hard. His throat was tight and his eyes stung. His dead heart beat loud in his ears, like rolling thunder, and his knuckles were white he was gripping so tight to the blanket. Ryan took a shaky breath in and closed his eyes, willing himself to calm down. Once his heart had slowed and his eyes fell dry, no longer pricking painfully with tears, he climbed back into bed with Jeremy, moving as close as he could, grasping tightly to his back, wrapping his legs around those of the sleeping form he loved so dearly.

"Its okay if you hate me... but please... love me more"


	14. Carpe Collum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thanks for helping. I’m sure you feel a lot better now that it’s clean”
> 
> “It won’t stay that way but, yeah, sure”
> 
> ________________  
> Domestic Jyan; good for the soul

"Get up, lazy ass," Ryan called to a blissfully sleeping Jeremy, stepping up to his bed and covering his nose until he jolted awake.

"I'm up! Fuck me, was that entirely necessary?" Jeremy spat, rubbing his nose, sitting up in bed.

"Yes, now suck it up princess. We're cleaning up your room. I can't let you keep living like this." Ryan bent over to pick up the basket of clothes he'd put down to wake his roommate. Jeremy scowled and flipped Ryan off when he wasn't looking. Ryan raised his brow and called back to Jeremy, "if you want me to fuck off then maybe you should kill me again. Now get up. I made you some coffee."

"What about you?"

"I haven't had anything. I'm dead once, so it doesn't really matter."

"Are you ever going to forgive me for that?"

"Today's not looking good. Neither is tomorrow. But maybe one day. Make it up to me by helping me clean up and maybe I'll consider it." Jeremy fell back into his pillow with a loud groan of resignation before dragging himself out of bed with an equally pronounced groan of disdain. Ryan smiled softly to himself, knowing that even though Jeremy clearly despised the idea of cleaning, that he was still getting up. For him. Ryan's heart swelled at the thought and his smile brightened.

* * *

An hour later, Jeremy was collapsed on his bed after helping Ryan clean up his room. They’d found a heap of things Jeremy hadn’t seen for years. His original hard cover copy of the first Percy Jackson book, his DVDs of the first three Harry Potter movies, and quite a few more bits and bobs under piles of clothes. Ryan brushed his hair out of his eyes and wiped his damp forehead on his arm. He looked over at Jeremy as he fixed his glasses and smiled. Jeremy rolled over and stared at his roof and let out a long sigh of relief.

“Finally fucking done. God damn I hate cleaning,” Ryan let out a small laugh as he moved to the bed and sat next to Jeremy as he stretched on the bed. He let out a satisfied groan before relaxing again and turning to Ryan.

“Thanks for helping. I’m sure you feel a lot better now that it’s clean”

“It won’t stay that way but, yeah, sure”

“Why not?”

“I. Don’t. Clean. Could you not tell from the disaster zone I’d been living in? It’s not like I needed to anyway. Noone comes to visit or anything.” Jeremy explained nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders. Ryan frowned at how poor of an attitude Jeremy had about this, and decided to pick up his mood a bit.

“It will stay like this, you know why?” Jeremy looked at Ryan, who in turn, placed a hand on his shoulder and sent the warmest smile across to Jeremy before he continued, “because I won’t let it.” Jeremy stared at Ryan for a moment seemingly to flustered or confused to say anything back. Ryan continued to smile warmly to Jeremy, assuring him that he wasn’t lying. Jeremy lent in and wrapped Ryan in a tight embrace, hugging him as close as he could to his own body. He mumbled several ‘thank you’s and apologies into Ryan’s chest as Ryan stroked his hair and hugged him back equally as tight. After a few minutes, Jeremy eased back from Ryan and looked up as his face, still with that same smile greeting him. Jeremy’s lips were slightly parted as he looked into Ryan’s gentle green eyes.

He brought his face close to Ryan’s and spoke gently, “can I kiss you?” Ryan blushed slightly at Jeremy’s question. He’d spoken so softly; it had almost been a whisper. Jeremy had asked him for a kiss in a gentle and small voice that Ryan had never really heard him use before, and it tugged at his heart how cute it was. Ryan placed his right hand on the back of Jeremy's neck, tangling his fingers in his long blond hair that was slightly damp from sweat. Ryan nodded softly to Jeremy who then pressed his lips softly against Ryan’s.

The first kiss was more like a graze, the second one having a bit more pressure behind it. Jeremy continued to kiss him gently for a while, his right hand moving up to hold the back of Ryan’s head. As Jeremy kissed him, Ryan moved his left hand to rest on Jeremy’s neck with his other hand. When he did so, he gave a light squeeze and felt Jeremy shiver under his hands. Jeremy stopped kissing him for a moment and panted softly. He looked at Ryan who was staring him up and down to try and see what exactly it was that he’d done to elicit such a reaction from Jeremy. **Jeremy**. How come Jeremy was acting like that? Had he found some sort of weak point? Ryan smiled at the thought and turned his line of sight back to Jeremy’s beautiful brown eyes.

“Do that again… harder” Jeremy let out, almost too quiet for Ryan to hear towards the end.

“Do what?” Ryan asked, his grip on Jeremy becoming even looser. Jeremy grabbed Ryan’s wrists and moved his hands into place on his neck so that it looked like Ryan was choking him. Ryan’s eyes widened a little at the oddly pleading look in Jeremy’s eyes as he held Ryan’s hands in place.

“Squeeze”


	15. Oh how the Tables have Tabled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You do realise you said all that out loud right?”
> 
> “What?”

Ryan started squeezing ever so gently and Jeremy shallowed out his breathing. Ryan slowly increased the pressure on Jeremy’s neck until he had almost completely cut off his air supply. Jeremy was whining. He was fucking **whining** as Ryan choked him. Jeremy shivered under Ryan’s hands and his face was betraying the pleasure he was feeling at the sensation. Ryan went red in the face seeing how much he liked it, and decided to try cutting off his air supply completely for a few moments. Jeremy’s jaw hung open as he gasped vainly and desperately for air, moans rumbling in the back of his throat as chills ran through his body.

When Ryan released him, he gasped for air, taking deep, needy breaths, the occasional moan accidentally slipping out as he lowered his head, hiding his face from Ryan. When he looked back up at Ryan, he could see how happy he was. Jeremy’s face was flushed, his eyes hooded and his jaw still hanging open as he panted. Ryan couldn’t help but blush at seeing Jeremy like that. He looked so **turned on**. Ryan covered his mouth and cheeks as Jeremy looked at him with pleading eyes.

“You really like that huh?” Ryan asked, his words slightly muffled by his hand. Jeremy smiled at him and pressed a little closer to him, his hands resting either side of Ryan’s waist.

“Yeah… It’s pretty hot. Could you… do it for me every now and then?” The slight hoarseness of Jeremy’s voice as he quietly answered sent Ryan’s mind a buzz and his heart into overdrive, beating heavily in his chest.

“It’s hot? He thinks it’s hot? Oh dear god he’s killing me here. Of course I can do it for him but fuck he’s starting to really turn me on here now _._ ” Jeremy smiled and pressed his lips against Ryan’s before he could say anything. When he pulled back, Ryan was still quite flustered at the sudden kiss.

“You do realise you said all that out loud right?”

“What?” Ryan asked before realising what Jeremy had actually said and his face turned a much deeper shade of red.

“If it’s turning you on so much, maybe I should help you take care of it. After all, you’ve been so nice to me.” Jeremy returned with a sly grin and Ryan let out a small embarrassed squeak as Jeremy began to climb on top of him. Jeremy straddled Ryan and placed his hands on Ryan’s shoulders. He leaned down and pressed his lips against Ryan’s once again, this time parting his lips to nibble on Ryan’s. Ryan massaged Jeremy’s neck with his thumbs, pressing hard every now and then to feel Jeremy shiver and hear him moan softly.

Ryan pulled away from the kiss after a while and admired Jeremy’s pleased expression.  He moved in to kiss the red mark on Jeremy’s neck from where he’d held him. The mark was close to where Jeremy’s necklace sat, and Ryan hooked a finger through it, kissing the skin there as well. Jeremy had his head tilted back, opening his neck up to Ryan completely. Ryan then took this chance to try giving Jeremy a glaring hickey. He bit down on his neck and sucked hard at the skin for a while, all while massaging the pads of his thumbs into Jeremy’s neck.

“Aaaaah!” Jeremy yelled as Ryan began to cut off his air supply completely again. He rocked his hips up against Ryan’s as he moved his hands to grip at Ryan’s wrists. Ryan watched Jeremy as his jaw hung open again, eyes almost shut completely as he groaned and rolled his hips. “Rah- aaahh… Ryaaahh nng!” He called in a small breathless voice as he continued to rock against Ryan. Ryan whimpered as he felt Jeremy grinding against his hardening shaft, his grip beginning to loosen slightly.

When he couldn’t take anymore he finally let go of Jeremy’s throat and listened to him moan and gasp for a few moments as he shivered ad the sudden feeling of air filling his lungs properly again. Ryan looked down for a moment, using his hands behind him to try and brace himself. When he looked down he noticed just how much Jeremy enjoyed it. Ryan could see just how hard Jeremy was, and that had just been from kissing and choking him. His face burned hot again as he averted his gaze back to Jeremy’s face, only to have Jeremy push him onto his back and kiss him roughly.

Jeremy continued to grind against Ryan as they kissed, pressing their clothed hard-ons together as he moved. After a while however, he had managed to bring himself into a more upright position. He’d pulled off his shirt long ago now, and Ryan had done the same. Now all that was left were their pants and underwear. Ryan whined and whimpered, his jeans far too tight on him as Jeremy continued to roll his hips. As Jeremy moved, Ryan’s clothed member would press against his ass and a shiver of pleasant anticipation flowed through his body.

“Ryan. Ryan I… fffuuck… Ryan it’s not—mmmm—enough… more” Ryan rocked his hips with Jeremy’s now, moving smoothly, wanting so desperately for Jeremy to get off him for five fucking seconds so that he could get these stupid pants off. Ryan wasn’t used to this 'gentler', _needier_ side of Jeremy. He could barely believe his ears when he’d asked him to choke him, let alone asking for more like that. Jeremy was usually so in control, but now he was completely undone. Ryan lifted Jeremy up by his waist and heard him whine. **Again**. God dammit, Ryan didn’t think he could take much more of this.

“Pants… off” Ryan breathed out and Jeremy quickly obliged, reaching to his bedside table for lube. Ryan wasn’t too perturbed at all by this, in fact he was all too happy, but when he saw Jeremy move to lube up his dick, as opposed to his own, time froze momentarily, “what are you…”

“Putting lube on, what does it fucking look like I’m doing? Just shut your mouth and let me prep myself. Unless you’re going to do it?” Ryan stared at Jeremy for a moment. ‘ _This definitely isn’t a dream. That’s definitely still Jeremy. That’s Jeremy. That’s **Jeremy**._ ’ Ryan told himself over and over as he watched Jeremy stretch himself to prepare for Ryan’s cock. When he felt he was sufficiently prepared, he removed his fingers from himself and positioned himself above Ryan’s throbbing cock. Ryan watched Jeremy closely as he lowered himself onto his shaft. It slid inside with relatively little resistance, muscles clamping down on the head of Ryan’s cock, making him mewl pleasantly. Jeremy lowered himself further, taking Ryan deeper inside him with a long, deep groan.

“Fuck” Ryan moaned quietly as he felt himself get swallowed up inside Jeremy. Jeremy stayed still for a while, making sure he was accustomed to the size of Ryan’s cock inside him before beginning to move slowly. He lifted himself up until just before the head of Ryan’s shaft, before quickly going back down, forcing moans out of both of them. Ryan, moved his hands to Jeremy’s hips and he began thrusting in time with the movements of Jeremy’s hips. At the feeling of Ryan thrusting back, a strangled moan escaped Jeremy’s throat. He looked down to Ryan’s face pleadingly, tugging gently at his necklace to try and hint to Ryan what he wanted him to do.

Ryan moved into a more upright position, making Jeremy wrap his thighs around Ryan’s back as he continued to thrust inside of him. Jeremy continued to grunt and moan softly, occasionally getting louder when Ryan got closer to the bundle of nerves that sat deep inside him. Ryan wrapped his fingers gently around Jeremy’s neck, and Jeremy nodded, tears of pleasure beginning to form in his eyes. Ryan increased the pressure on Jeremy’s neck gradually, listening to his moans and mewls of approval. Ryan’s name slipped through in broken syllables several times as he continued to ride Ryan’s cock. When Ryan finally hit the bundle of nerves inside him, he nearly screamed, shivering violently, precum spilling from the tip of his own throbbing shaft. Jeremy kept one hand grasped on Ryan’s wrists, whilst the other ventured down to begin stroking himself.

Ryan moaned in time with each roll and bounce of Jeremy’s hips as the knot in his stomach grew and his climax approached him. His grip failed slightly and Jeremy took a deep strained breath in and mewled Ryan’s name in a desperate and pleading tone that nearly made his heart fucking stop. He wanted to cum. So badly. But Jeremy had slowed down his movements a fair bit and it was driving Ryan slowly mad. He was so close. Tantalisingly close. So much so that, in the end, he’d let go of Jeremy’s throat, allowing him to breath, as he suddenly layed back and gripped onto Jeremys hips and had begun to thrust deep and fast into Jeremy, who moaned and yelped as he hit against those same nerves again and again.

Jeremy braced himself by gripping to Ryan’s leg and stomach, hands slipping slightly from the layer of sweat that had formed on both of their heated bodies as Jeremy continued to ride him. He looked down at Ryan’s desperate face as he continued to thrust inside of him, trying to bring himself to his peak. Jeremy grinned for a moment, only to lose composure again as Ryan hit that sweet spot inside him again and dragged another moan out of his hoarse throat.

“Jeremy… I- aaaah… I’m so close… I’m gonna…” Ryan managed to get out between pants and moans as he continued to thrust, now taking shorter and faster movements inside Jeremy, hitting his prostate frequently. Jeremy moaned several times, trying to catch himself for long enough to reply to Ryan before his own limit was reached.

“Come? Haaa… go on then… come inside me…” he teased Ryan with his customary sadistic smile gracing his parted lips. Jeremy adored the expression that drew itself across Ryan’s face as he’d spoken those words to him. The older man’s eyes rolled back as his eyes closed and his lips created a large ‘o’, an extended moan escaping his throat. Ryan felt himself hit his limit, coming undone completely, thrusting in deeply one more time as he came, hips still twitching as his whole body tensed up for a moment before it slowly began to relax. His head was a blur as he felt Jeremy twitching around him as he too reached his limit moments later, his own fluids coating Ryan’s stomach and chest. Jeremy slowly came down from his own high, still breathless after his climax.

After calming down enough to breath and think clearly, Jeremy lifted himself off of Ryan and loomed over him for a minute before leaning down to kiss him tenderly on his lips.

“Love you, fuck face”

“Love you too, ass hat”


	16. Bacon fixes Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s cookin’ good look—oh my god,”
> 
> More domestic Jyan

Ryan left the shower in the morning and sniffed the air, the delicious scent of bacon hung thick and juicy in every breath he took. Ryan could’ve sworn he’d heard his stomach growl in anticipation of the bacon being on his tongue. With little thought, he quickly walked downstairs towards the kitchen.

“What’s cookin’ good look—oh my god,” when he stepped around the corner into the kitchen, teasing Jeremy a little, he stopped in his tracks and stared at Jeremy.

Jeremy was cooking.

In a towel.

And an apron.

That was it. Jeremy was in the kitchen cooking bacon in his bath towel and an apron. When Jeremy side eyed Ryan who was still staring at him like a stunned mullet, he smirked and cooed to him in a teasingly smooth tone.

“I’m cooking us bacon. You haven’t had real bacon until you’ve tried mine.” And with that Ryan was dead. A small squeak left his gaping mouth as his mind slipped directly into the gutter and he turned away and walked to sit in the lounge chair. Jeremy snickered to himself as he finished up cooking the last few pieces of bacon. Once he placed them all on a plate, he grabbed them both a glass of water and sat on the chair with Ryan, now only wearing his towel.

“I’m going to die from a heart attack at this rate,” Ryan whined, covering his face with his hands. Jeremy laughed and sat back in his seat, handing Ryan his glass of water and picking up a piece of bacon from the plate.

“You better not do that. Just have some bacon already asshat, its really good.” Ryan shot up and glared at Jeremy who only laughed in return. Jeremy handed him a piece of bacon, but Ryan only looked at it. Jeremy held it in front of him for a while before getting fed up with Ryan staring at it for so long, “god dammit Ryan you’re practically drooling, just fucking try it already.”

“But I’m dead! It’ll probably just slip right through me like everything else. Besides, since I’m dead I don’t really need to eat anyway,” Jeremy raised his eyebrows at Ryan who only frowned in defiance.

“Fine. More for me then,” Jeremy finally returned with a sigh, taking a large bite of bacon, “hey, come here for a tic.” Ryan leant closer when Jeremy grabbed his face between his fingers, forcing his mouth open and kissed him. He moved the bite of bacon into Ryan’s mouth and laughed when he heard Ryan yell, his face going red. Jeremy pulled away from Ryan and held his hand over Ryan’s mouth so he couldn’t spit it out. When Ryan finally ate it, Jeremy pulled his hand away.

“What the fuck Jeremy!? That’s fucking nasty! Don’t just do that to me!” Jeremy laughed and fell back against the arm of the chair. Ryan frowned and took a bite of some bacon himself and climbed over Jeremy to get him back. ‘ _See how you like it, huh?_ ’ Oh he liked it very much. Jeremy thought it was incredibly entertaining having Ryan try to give him a taste of his own medicine. He held Ryan close and wouldn’t let him break the kiss until they both really needed to stop and breath for a minute.

“Now my bacon tastes even better” Ryan choked on air at Jeremy’s comment and wheezed out a small, high-pitched ‘what’ as Jeremy finished the piece of bacon in his mouth and made a show out of licking his lip afterwards. Ryan’s face was about as red as his shirt by now as he turned away and took a bite of bacon for himself this time.

“Yep. Definitely going to have a heart attack,” Ryan mumbled, chewing on a piece of bacon. Jeremy smiled and hit him gently in the shoulder with his foot before sitting up properly.

“Told you the bacon was good. And look, you can eat! So shut up and enjoy your bacon Ryan.” Jeremy picked up another piece for himself and promptly shoved it in his mouth. Ryan looked over to Jeremy through the corner of his eye and saw the sweet smile on his face. ‘ _He’s too cute for his own good like this. And why did he have to do that!! Aaaaaahh now I’m all flustered_.’

“By the way Ryan; If what we just did now is nasty, then what was the other night, hmm?” Ryan’s mouthful of bacon almost went flying across the room when he said that, and his hand flew up to cover his face. Jeremy laughed at him again and lent over to kiss his temple.

* * *

As they sat there together, quietly sending gentle insults to each other between mouthfuls of bacon. After finishing their breakfast, Jeremy took their plate up into the kitchen and started humming to himself. Ryan layed back on the couch and tapped his foot in the air along to the song.

“Hhmm hmm hhmm, hhmmm hm hmm” Jeremy hummed as he put the last rinsed dish into the dishwasher and closed it to start the cycle. Ryan sat up and stared at Jeremy in disbelief, who stopped his humming when he noticed Ryan’s unwavering stare, “what?”

“You were just humming the ghost busters theme song you absolute knob jockey. Ghost busters. Although I am greatly pleased that you know it, I still kind of want you to shut the fuck up?” Jeremy looked at Ryan funny before his eyes widened in realisation and he proceeded to double over in laughter.

“Oh my fucking god, I am **so** sorry. Holy shit I didn’t think about that for a second. I can’t believe it!” Jeremy clutched his gut as he laughed at Ryan, who only pouted in the chair, resting his head on top of the back of the chair. When Jeremy finally regained his composure, whipping tears from his eyes, he approached Ryan and gave him a hug and stroked his hair, “don’t worry Ryan. I’d never call the ghostbusters on you.” Ryan couldn’t help but blush at the silly sentiment as he wrapped his arms around Jeremy and returned the hug. After hugging him for a moment, Ryan realised Jeremy was still just in a **_fucking towel_**. He pulled away from the hug and pushed Jeremy back as he laughed again.

“Go put some fucking clothes on for fucks sake Jeremy! I’m not going to tell you again!”

“You’re right about that”

“Get fucking dressed!!”


	17. A Notification

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you really think i would forget that I made Jeremy a Harry Potter dork?

Ryan walked downstairs a few hours later to see Jeremy putting his shoes on in the doorway. He had a large bag with him and his hair _fuck_ it was tied back in a ponytail, his fringe still sitting in his face. “Where the fuck are you going?”

“Gym”

“Why?” Ryan prodded, stepping closer to Jeremy and flicking the ponytail with his right hand. Jeremy knocked his hand away and adjusted his hold on his bag.

“ _Because_ , I like to stay healthy and in shape. Maybe you should join me, fat ass.”

“ **Fucking excuse me, bitch.** ” Ryan spat back, raising his voice as he glared at Jeremy, who only smiled and laughed. It was a bright, open mouthed laugh, and Ryan knew he could never stay truly mad at Jeremy when he did that. He dropped his shoulders and sighed loudly before smiling back at Jeremy.

“I’m saying you can come with me if you want to. I’m leaving now though, so hurry the fuck up.” Jeremy repeated, kicking his foot against the ground to set his shoes in place properly. Ryan grabbed his shoes and slipped them on, before tapping Jeremy’s arm lightly to show he was ready, “lets go then”

* * *

Once the two of them arrived, Ryan found he could walk through the walls here. ‘ _Probably because this place doesn’t belong to him._ ’ He walked up to one of the machines and tried starting it, only for his hand to go through the screen. He pouted and turned to look at Jeremy who was laughing quietly at him. Ryan furrowed his brows, lips still pursed at his misfortune. Jeremy walked over to a corner with mats placed down where there was barely anyone else working out and set his stuff down. Ryan walked over to a bunch of different machines to try them, but the result remained the same. He let out a loud groan and heard Jeremy let out a huff of laughter from his place.

“Yeah, it’s sooo funny. How about you try being dead, see how that goes for ya!” Ryan shouted back to him, turning to face him as he spoke. _‘Oh boy._ ’ Jeremy was doing sit ups by himself, some of his hair sticking to his sweaty face. His grey singlet was riding up on him, exposing his abdomen as it tensed and relaxed with each movement. Ryan’s face turned red as he watched him for a moment. ‘ _Sexy_.’ A smirk crawled along his features as an equally evil idea slithered into his head. He floated up off the ground so Jeremy wouldn’t hear his footfalls as his made his way towards him. As he got closer, he heard Jeremy’s ragged breathing and his smirk grew wider.

“Hey, Rya—oof” Jeremy grunted as weight suddenly fell on his stomach and he had to move his hands from behind his head to the floor behind him to hold himself up. He looked down to see Ryan with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

“Hey sexy” he teased and Jeremy’s cheeks flushed pink.

“Get off”

“Oh. I will. Don’t you worry about that.” Jeremy’s face went redder as Ryan pressed himself closer to him and climbed up his body, bringing their faces closer. “You look really sexy like this you know.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have brought you with me”

“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame”

“Definitely a bad idea. Get off me smart ass, I’m trying to be productive today, and this isn’t helping.” Jeremy returned, pushing Ryan’s face away.

“Awwww, come on. You’re being mean. I can be your punching bag for a while if you want” Ryan teased again, smiling wider each time he saw Jeremy get more and more flustered.

“I’m gonna kill you”

“Already did sweetheart. Now. Are you gonna hit me or do I get to sit here the whole time?” Jeremy _definitely_ looked pissed now. Well, pissed and kind of excited too. Ryan wasn’t sure how to explain it, but when Jeremy suddenly grabbed him by his hair and pulled his face away from his own with force, he decided he’d managed to successfully frustrate him.

“Fuck. Off. Give me, like, five more minutes. At the very least.” Jeremy hissed, face still red. Ryan pursed his lips, giving Jeremy a pleading look. Jeremy tried his best to look away. To look away from those bright green, pleading eyes. From those pink, kissable lips. From Ryan’s unbearably cute face as he layed on top of him, pressing his body close. So so close. In the middle of the Gym. ‘ _Damn him_.’ He gripped tighter to Ryan’s hair and pulled his face close, kissing him roughly. He felt Ryan hum happily against his lips and smiled on the inside. When he pulled Ryan away from him, he grinned sadistically and Ryan felt his eyes boring into him. He gulped as a shiver of excitement and anticipation flowed through his body.

“I’ll wait happily for later then.” He breathed, smiling as he sat back on his calves at Jeremy’s feet.

“You are so fucked”

* * *

As the pair of them headed home, Jeremy brushed Ryan off as they passed the markets, saying he had to get something and he would be home soon. Ryan simply kissed him and told him to hurry before leaving him behind.

It felt good to be able to grab onto the door handle and use it like a normal person. Although he did love doing ghostly things, he definitely missed being able to feel alive every time. He opened the door with the key Jeremy gave him and walked inside. Ryan made his way inside and kicked off his shoes. He made his way upstairs and into Jeremy’s room. He stretched his arms above his head before flopping face first onto the bed with a sigh. Ryan rolled over onto his back and looked around the clean room. Well, cleaner. There were already some accumulating piles of clothes, he couldn’t even tell which ones were clean or dirty anymore, and Jeremy’s DVD shelves were already disorganised.

“May as well watch something while I wait” Ryan mumbled to himself as he got up and walked over to the shelves to pick a movie. The Harry Potter series certainly caught his eye, considering that was the movie Jeremy was watching when they first actually met around a month ago now. He smiled fondly at The Prisoner of Azkaban and pulled the case off the shelf. Ryan strolled over to Jeremy’s computer and wiggled the mouse, bringing the screen to life. He popped the disc out of its case and placed it into the disc reader on the computer. As he moved the mouse across the screen to open the movie player, an email notification went off.

“Christian Jeffries?” Ryan asked aloud. The name didn’t ring any bells, so he assumed it was one of Jeremy’s friends or maybe a work mate. What did Jeremy do though? Ryan scratched his head for a bit before making a mental note to ask him later. He opened the movie player and started the DVD. Only a few minutes into the movie, another email came through from Christian Jeffries. Ryan took little notice of it until another email came through not five minutes later. It was followed by two emails from other people and a fourth one from Christian after another ten minutes. Ryan groaned, irritated by the constant notifications, and muted them so he could enjoy the movie.

An hour into the movie, he heard Jeremy get home, and he paused it. Ryan got up from his seat and approached the bedroom door and looked downstairs to see Jeremy had a bag in his arms other than his gym bag.

“Got what you needed?”

“Yeah. Should be perfect.” Something about that tone of voice sent chills through Ryan’s body and he audibly swallowed. Jeremy pulled a box out of the bag and rattled it around gently. Ryan tilted his head to the side as he watched Jeremy smile darkly before coming upstairs. When he reached Ryan’s side, he leaned into his ear, whispering in a sultry, seductive tone.

“Bed, now, Ryan”


	18. Sparks Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, more smut

Ryan sat on the bed as he was told, his hands resting on his thighs while Jeremy sat behind him, fiddling with whatever was in the box. Ryan waited patiently as he heard Jeremy cursing quietly when the box wouldn’t _fucking open_. Ryan laughed at Jeremy who growled at him as he finally got the box open.

“Ha! Got it, eat shit Ryan.”

“Ha ha, finally”

“Shut up” Jeremy returned as he moved himself closer to Ryan. He placed something with rough edges around Ryan’s neck and tightened it so it would stay in place. Ryan shivered as he felt something cold on the inside of what he assumed was a collar, press against his neck. It felt oddly heavy for a simple collar, and Ryan lifted his right hand to touch it. Jeremy grabbed his wrist before he could touch it and forced his hand back to his lap. He then got up and took the box with him and placed it beside the computer. He pulled a small remote out of the box and walked back over to Ryan.

“Pick a number between one and five, and I’ll start it there.”

“Start what?” as soon as those words left his mouth, he connected the dots in his head and blushed. Jeremy hadn’t just bought him a collar. It was an electric collar. Jeremy had bought him a mother fucking electric collar. ‘ _Why the hell is this getting me excited?_ ’ He lifted his hand with three fingers up and Jeremy fiddled with the remote for a moment.

“Ready?”

“Yeah” Ryan let out in a small voice as Jeremy turned the collar on. Ryan let out a loud yelp of pain and fell back on the bed. His hands flew up to his throat and gripped at the collar, tugging at it furiously as electricity flowed through his body. He squirmed like mad, kicking at the bed, lifting his waist in the air and forcing his head deeper into the mattress. After ten seconds passed, Jeremy switched it off and sat on the bed next to Ryan, reaching out to stroke his hair.

“Are you okay? Maybe I should have set it to one.” Ryan didn’t say anything for a while, he only stared at the roof, twitching slightly each time Jeremy’s hands softly caressed his head. His breathing was ragged as his fingertips still clung to the fabric of the collar. When he spoke, his voice was shaky, and Jeremy could hear how pleading he sounded.

“No. Again”

“Again?” Jeremy repeated, excited that Ryan was okay with this. Excited that Ryan wanted more. What really got him going however, were his next words.

“Five. Do it at five this time. Please, Jeremy. I want to feel it.” God those words killed him. He smiled sadistically as he knocked up the power and turned the collar on again. Ryan let out another loud yelp, this time followed by a series of whines and moans as he grasped at the air around the collar, writhing on the bed. Jeremy watched him squirm, intensely pleased by the flush that draped itself over Ryan’s cheeks, and the smile as broken moans filled the room.

After fifteen seconds, Jeremy turned it off and Ryan sighed happily. He lay there, shaking and gasping, absolutely out of breath. He couldn’t bring himself to speak yet, his throat felt hoarse and his head was a buzz. Jeremy leaned down to Ryan’s face and peppered him with soft kisses.

“Feel good?” Ryan only nodded in response, still unable to speak properly, a small, weak, noise escaping him in an attempt of reply. Ryan reached for Jeremy’s singlet and tugged at it softly. Jeremy leaned back to look at his face properly as Ryan tried mouthing something to him, “what did you say?”

“Touch… me…” Ryan croaked out hoarsely, rolling his hips into the air to make sure Jeremy knew _exactly_ where he meant. Jeremy smirked as he looked over Ryan, before he slowly trailed his fingers from Ryan’s knee along his inner thigh towards the growing bulge in his pants. He rubbed his palm against it roughly and Ryan groaned between his teeth as he shivered. ‘ _Dammit Jeremy, touch me properly. For fucks sake is this supposed to be punishment for teasing you in the gym?_ ’

“No… fair,” Ryan gasped out as Jeremy painstakingly slowly undid his pants, “hurry up already.”

“Impatient are we? Maybe I need to show you who’s boss here.” Jeremy replied with a dark grin as he picked up the remote and turned the collar on again. Ryan shut up after that; far too preoccupied with the electric currents being pumped into his body to speak. He only managed to whine and groan as he writhed around on the bed. So much for the room being clean. Jeremy turned off the collar again, and Ryan’s body fell limp. _Mostly_. Jeremy slipped down Ryan’s pants and underwear, letting Ryan’s aching member spring free of its earlier confines.

“The collar seems to be a real hit. I’m glad I bought it for you.” Jeremy cooed softly, Ryan’s cock, dripping with precum, twitched in Jeremy’s warm hand as he began stroking him. Ryan’s eyes went wide, an ecstatic smile spread across his face and drool pooling beneath his head as it flowed from the corners of his mouth. His face was flushed a deep red as he ground his hips into Jeremy’s touch, desperate for him to go faster.

“More. More, more, more, moooore.” Ryan begged hands still tugging at the collar, like he was desperate for something to hold onto. In Jeremy’s eyes, Ryan almost looked hysterical at this point, but _god_ , was he gorgeous. He loved that look of pleasure on Ryan’s face. He loved all the faces Ryan made if he really got down to it. He didn’t want to let go of this. Not ever. He brought his face down to Ryan’s and pressed his lips softly against his. Ryan kissed back eagerly and tangled his hands into Jeremy’s, _really damn soft_ , blond hair. He pulled at Jeremy’s hair as gently as he could manage, tangling his fingers in those soft blonde locks, and his warm, wet tongue, messily with Jeremy’s.

Ryan moaned loudly into Jeremy’s mouth as he finally tipped over the edge, his cum spilling into Jeremy’s hand, that continued to pump him through his orgasm. Ryan quivered under Jeremy as they pulled apart from their kiss, a string of saliva connecting their tongues for a short moment before it broke under its own weight. The two of them stared at each other for a while before Ryan finally spoke.

“Fuck”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta stop. Take this power away from me. All of my chapter titles are jokes. hEL P


	19. Christian Jeffries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christian finally starts making himself known

“Oi, Ryan. Yesterday when I was out, did you touch anything on my computer?”

“What?” Ryan walked into the room and knocked his glasses off his forehead into place over his eyes as he walked up to Jeremy.

“Did you touch my computer?” Jeremy asked again, indicating to the screen that displayed several unread messages.

“Oh, shit, yeah I did sorry. I meant to tell you when you got home. You were getting a bunch of emails from some Christian Joffery or whatever. The dinging was annoying me so I turned the sound off while I watched Harry Potter.” Ryan explained, recalling what he could about the emails, “That guy really has a lot to say, doesn’t he?”

“Christian Jeffries, and yeah, he usually does.” Jeremy replied, turning his attention back to his flooded email screen. ‘ _What does Christian want anyway? He’s big enough and ugly enough to do whatever it is himself._ ’ Jeremy scrolled to the first email from him and opened it.

‘How’s things? It’s been a while since we’ve all heard from you. What’s going on? It’s kinda weird starting this off myself for once. Email me back when you see this.’ Christian was always pretty awkward when he started conversations. But by the looks of all the other emails, he’d gotten over his nerves fairly quick. As he continued to read, he felt his chest grow tight and his brows knitted together. Ryan had left the room when he’d opened the first email, and he was very glad of that. Each email, Christian’s impatience, anger, and worry grew exponentially. ‘I can see you’re online. Why aren’t you answering any of us? Usually you’re first to snap and say we need to go again, what are you doing that could possibly be so satisfying?’

Ryan. He was doing Ryan. After Ryan came into his life, he wasn’t so stressed or lonely anymore. And the fact that he could let himself go and hurt Ryan a bit was definitely a bonus. But the other members of his group didn’t know that. They definitely wouldn’t believe him either. So how could he explain to Christian ‘oh hey, I just got myself a dead boyfriend who’s a masochistic little fuck lord so I don’t need to go around killing people anymore. By the way, he’s the last guy we killed.’

“Yep. Definitely not happening.” Jeremy pushed himself away from the desk and spun slowly in his chair, sighing heavily as he stared at the roof. He heard his phone buzz next to his computer and picked it up. He turned on the screen and saw the number belonged to the only member of the group that had everyone’s contact details.

‘Meeting at 5 pm tomorrow afternoon. Everyone is required to attend. Come to the usual place. -J’ ‘ _Fuuuuuuck. Now Jayce is on us all. I guess it has been a while if they’re calling a meeting now_.’ Jeremy spun around in his chair again, before going through the rest of his emails. He raked his fingers through his hair before lifting himself out of his chair with a groan. He turned off his computer monitor and made his way downstairs.

* * *

Ryan stepped out of the laundry after putting some clothes into the dryer and walked towards the lounge room. There he found Jeremy lying face first into the seat cushions. Ryan walked up to the grumpy black and blue lump and hung himself over the back of the seat. He draped his arms over the comfy fabric and poked Jeremy in the back of the head.

“Stressed out?”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“What from?”

“Huh?”

“Why are you so stressed?” Ryan repeated himself, Jeremy turned his head so he could at least see Ryan’s face with one eye. He couldn’t tell him why he was stressed. He’d be pissed, wouldn’t he? Ryan looked at him expectantly and Jeremy decided to tell him part of his worries.

“I have a kind of job interview tomorrow at five. It should only take me about an hour, but I’m nervous about it. What if I’m not god enough? What if they turn me down? This is gonna kill me waiting for it to happen.”

“Oh come one. You’ll do great. So does this mean you’re unemployed?” Ryan continued, Jeremy greatly appreciating the change of subject.

“Yeah. I’m taking a gap year. I think. I don’t really know if I want to go into further education.”

“Fair enough. I’m sure this will go smoothly for you. You’re Jeremy! If you can’t convince them with your flawless people skills, you can turn on your powers of seduction and snag the job that way.”

“I’m not sure how serious you are about any of that, but I’m definitely hearing some sarcasm in there,” Jeremy hissed with a grin on his lips. Ryan’s face wore a similar grin as he denied any semblance of sarcasm in his words. ‘ _God. Ryan you and your stupid smile are going to be the end of me._ ’ Jeremy propped himself up on his elbows before moving one arm to grab Ryan and pull him into a soft, warm kiss, “love you, idiot.”

“Love you too, dumbass”


	20. A Treat, or a Trick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan you evil little thing

Jeremy got up early the next morning. He didn’t want to, but he couldn’t help his nerves. He rolled over and looked at Ryan, fast asleep, and dreaming peacefully. Jeremy smiled and gently placed his lips to Ryan’s forehead. Ryan’s arms wrapped around him and held him close. Jeremy huffed out a small laugh, thinking Ryan had done it in his sleep. He was wrong. When he went to pull himself away from Ryan, he found the grip he had on him was much stronger that he’d expected.

“Morning sleepy head. You’re up unusually early,” Ryan mumbled into Jeremy’s shoulder in a tired, slow, voice. Jeremy let out a sigh, the slightest tinge of annoyance evident in his tone.

“Your point? I can get up early if I feel like it.”

“Do you?”

“No comment”

“So no.” Jeremy pouted at how quickly that had fallen apart. It’s not like he had a solid plan to start with, but he was still disappointed in himself. Usually he was a better liar. Ryan, managed to see right through him. Ryan rolled them over a little until Jeremy was on his back and Ryan had him trapped under the weight of his own body. He smiled softly in the early morning light that sifted its way into Jeremy's room between his curtains.

“What are you up to, Ryan?” Jeremy asked as Ryan adjusted his position so that his left arm was free to roam Jeremy.

“Nothing in particular”

“Bullshit”

“Yeah” Why the fuck was he so forward about that so early in the morning? Jeremy’s face turned red as Ryan moved his hand lower and pulled Jeremy’s singlet up a little. He used his forefinger to draw small circles around Jeremy’s bellybutton, then following his waist line to the hem of his pants before stopping.

“You’re horny? Now?”

“Yes, leave me alone. I’ve been up for the past half an hour replaying a delicious dream I had.”

“How delightful” Jeremy’s words seething with a frustrated sarcasm that Ryan seemed to enjoy all too well. He wriggled underneath Ryan, trying to get out of bed before the point of no return, however Ryan had him pinned, and certainly planned on finishing what he was starting. He rubbed his palm against Jeremy’s crotch, feeling it twitch and harden under his fingers. Jeremy was done for. Ryan had got him in the mood now, so he thought he may as well take this as an opportunity to relieve some stress.

“If you’re gonna do this to me now, you may as well treat me a little. C’mon.” Ryan scoffed as he lifted his head off of Jeremy’s chest.

“Got any rope or old belts then?”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Ryan wrapped the old belt around Jeremy’s neck tightly and tugged on it. His breathing was definitely impaired. Just enough that he could still breathe, but he was also struggling enough that it sent a wave of heat throughout his whole body. Ryan smiled as he saw Jeremy’s face turn a deeper shade of red, and his eyes glaze over ever so slightly.

“Is that good enough?” Ryan asked, Jeremy giving a small, eager nod, as he puffed out his chest a little like he was trying to take deeper breaths. Ryan smiled and gave him a short kiss before resuming his earlier ministrations. He pulled on the belt to keep it tight as he stroked Jeremy’s cock, and a loud gasping moan rumbled in the back of Jeremy’s throat. His vision was turning white at the corners when Ryan stopped tugging for a moment and let him breathe.

“Fff-fuuuck Ryan. So good…” Ryan grinned mischievously as he leaned up and kissed Jeremy’s neck, just underneath the belt. Jeremy let out a small involuntary whine, screwing his eyes shut tightly as he took in the feeling of it all. He could escape with this. He could forget everything and live in this moment happily forever. He thoughts were suddenly torn asunder as he felt a warm, wet, tongue make its way along the bottom of his shaft, up to the head. He moaned Ryan’s name as he opened his eyes slightly to look down at Ryan as he teased him with his tongue.

Ryan kissed at his head before sticking his tongue out again and lapping at the small bead of precum forming at the tip. Jeremy quivered, letting out a shaking breath when Ryan tugged on the belt again, almost completely cutting of his air supply. Jeremy groaned and tipped his head back a little, only to throw it back further with a loud moan as Ryan took him into his mouth and began swirling his tongue around his tip. After teasing him a little, he took Jeremy deeper, eliciting another excited moan. Jeremy rolled his hips into Ryan’s mouth and Ryan hummed against his cock as it reached the back of his throat.

“Gaah! Aahh… aah… Ryan… Ryan…” Jeremy pleaded, moving his right hand to tangle his fingers in Ryan’s auburn blond hair. Ryan let go of the belt for a minute, letting Jeremy breath again. Once he let go, Jeremy’s moans only became fuller, longer, _deeper_. God it sounded good. Ryan continued to bob his head on Jeremy’s throbbing member as he mewled and rolled his hips eagerly into the wet heat of Ryan’s mouth.

“Ry-aahn… Ryan please… More. More, more, more nngh…” Jeremy could feel a knot below his stomach growing tighter and tighter with each bob of Ryan’s head. He was close. So close. Just a little more. Ryan felt Jeremy’s hand slip down to grip into the sheets as his orgasm approached him. That was when he lifted himself off of Jeremy and held his hands down. Jeremy let out a long pleading whine at the sudden absence of warmth. Jeremy tugged his arms but couldn’t get them out of Ryan’s grasp. He looked pleadingly at Ryan who smiled brightly and kissed his forehead.

“Come back from your interview with good news and I’ll finish you off real good. Also, no finishing yourself off”

“Fucking **_what_**? No way. Come on. Finish me off dammit. Please. I can’t just lay here and wait for it to go away! Fucking fuck. Ryan, please. Please, please, please! Just finish me off.”

“Nope”

“You evil little fuck faced piece of shit!”

“Love you too”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS ALMOST OVER LADIES AND GENTS


	21. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nice interview, Jeremy

‘ _Fuck me, I’m gonna kill him._ ’ Jeremy thought to himself as he slipped on his favourite hoodie and made his way downstairs. When he got downstairs, Ryan was sweeping the hallway. ‘ _He didn’t need to do that_.’ Ryan looked up from his work and smiled fondly at him, giving him a thumbs up.

“You can do it, Jeremy” Ryan called to him as he passed him. Jeremy smiled back softly and waved to him as he slipped his shoes on.

“See you when I get back. Should be about an hour and a half.”

“Alright, see you soon.” Ryan replied, watching Jeremy close the door behind him, waving furiously.

* * *

Jeremy shuffled up to the far end of the old train station where a rusting, worn down, old train carriage sat alone. When he got there a familiar voice whispered to him as they jumped out of the window of the train onto his back.

“Oof, hey Cassy. How are things?”

“Stressful as all hell, you out of everyone should know this best.”

“True true,” Jeremy returned with a small laugh before looking around, “where’s Christian and Jayce?”

“Jayce Andrews said he was going to be late, and Christian just had to go to the bathroom.” Jeremy nodded, acknowledging her response as he looked around for Christian. When he saw Christian come around the corner of the carriage he waved, but Christian only grimaced before nodding to him.

“Where’ve you been lately?”

“Busy”

“Busy huh? Usually when you’re busy, you manage to get a job or go to school. Last I checked you had neither of those. All the money you made was from the wallets of people we killed. Or am I wrong?” Christian spat, venom thick in his quiet voice. Jeremy looked away from his accusing blue eyes and shook his head.

“You aren’t wrong”

“Then what the fuck Jeremy! We’ve all been losing our heads this past month or so now. Why the hell haven’t you called anything? Usually you’re the most desperate for this, but now we’re here at near bloody breaking point!” Christian stormed up into Jeremy’s face, forcing him to step back against the side of the train. Christian raised his fist and pulled back before landing a punch square on Jeremy’s left cheek.

“Christian, please. We need to be quiet for this sort of thing. We don’t want to be caught trespassing or killing people as stress relief.” Jayce’s voice tensed and rose an octave as he spoke. He pushed him away from Jeremy and stood between the two of them, “now Jeremy, please do care to explain why we haven’t heard from you in so long.”

“I’ve been preoccupied with trying to find a job, that and my cousin came to visit”

“Bullshit”

“Christian what did I just fucking say.” Christian pouted and crossed his arms, turning away and pacing a few meters away from the group. “That’s understandable. Don’t you think it’s about time you give us some sort of news then? We are all falling apart here.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. I just didn’t want them going through my emails so I had to turn off my notifications.”

“I guess that’s fine. You don’t look like you’re all too stressed out though. I thought your family drove you mad?”

“Not this person. They keep me pretty calm” Jayce stared him down, obviously suspicious. To Jeremy’s surprise, he didn’t press the topic further, instead he addressed the whole group.

“In two days time, I have a day off work. As long as the rest of you have no problems, I’d like to set that as the date of our next destressing session.” Jeremy swallowed as he watched Cassy and Christian both nod in agreement.

“I may not be able to make it. My cousin’s last day here is in two days, and I don’t want to miss a minute with them.”

“You know we need you, you’re probably our best shot here. You and Christian anyway. Please try and make it.”

“I’ll do my best Jayce. Thanks for understanding.” Jayce nodded as he looked at his watch. He looked up and said his goodbyes before closing the meeting and walking back home. Cassy gave Jeremy a hug before racing off to the bus stop ahead of her older brother. Christian walked up to stand beside Jeremy, a solemn look on his face.

“Hey. Sorry about getting so angry. Study is really getting to me lately. I should’ve known you’d say if anything was happening. How is your cousin?” Jeremy turned to look at Christian and brushed him off.

“It’s fine, really. I should’ve said something earlier. My cousin’s doing fine.” Jeremy replied with a forgiving smile plastered on his face. Christian sighed in relief and rested his hand softly on Jeremy’s shoulder.

“Good good,” Christian suddenly gripped down hard on Jeremy’s shoulder and slammed it into the side of the train, making Jeremy wince in pain, bringing his left hand up to hold his shoulder. Christian then took that chance to punch him in the stomach, causing Jeremy to double over in pain, gasping for air. Christian grabbed a hold of his hair and tugged his face up to look at him, “I thought maybe you’d been thinking about leaving the group and ratting us all out. You would never do that though would you?”

“Christian…” Jeremy gasped, trying to get some more air back in his lungs.

“Shut your disgusting lying mouth you scumbag piece of trash. You thought you could just leave this. Well there’s only one way out of here once you’re in so I hope you’re fucking ready.”

* * *

Ryan had been cleaning for two hours. Two whole hours. It didn’t bother him, but he was out of things to clean now, so his mind could wander back to why Jeremy wasn’t back yet. ‘ _He said an hour and a half right? It’s been three hours since he left now. Where the fuck is he?_ ’ Ryan stretched his arms up over his head after placing the broom in the corner of the kitchen near the bin. He left the white tiled kitchen and moved through the lounge into the hallway. Once there, he moved to the entrance way near the stairs and peeked at the door.

Still no Jeremy.

Ryan had thought for sure his teasing that morning would’ve motivated him to come home as quickly as he could, maybe even earlier than estimated; but now he’d been gone for three fucking hours. ‘ _Dammit Jeremy where are you?_ ’ He made his way upstairs, deciding that it wouldn’t be too bad reorganising Jeremy’s DVD shelves again.

* * *

Four hours. Four hours with no sign of Jeremy. And Ryan had nothing left to do. Everything made him worry more about Jeremy. He curled up in their bed, gripping tightly to the blanket, like it was the only thing holding him together at that stage.

“Where are you Jeremy” he mumbled into the sheet, tears beginning to slip from his eyes and roll slowly down his soft, dark cheeks. He soon began sobbing into the blanket as the five-hour mark grew nearer. Did he leave him? Did he go out to kill someone again? Was he in an accident? Each possible excuse Ryan thought of only served to fuel his worry and tears.

When he heard a door open and close downstairs, his eyes flew wide open and he sat up so quickly he made himself feel woozy from head rush. He rubbed his red eyes and fixed his glasses on his face as he watched the bedroom door open.

Jeremy was an absolute mess. His jumper was soaked and his hair looked like it had been almost torn out. There was a huge bruise on his face that Ryan could just make out in the dark. Jeremy looked at Ryan with equally wide eyes.

“Jeremy?” Jeremy flinched at Ryan’s words, and Ryan’s eyes continued to allow tears to spill forth slowly. When Jeremy saw how concerned Ryan had been, he smiled the saddest smile Ryan could ever imagine, and it sent pangs of worry through his chest. Jeremy was crying too. Profusely. He raised his right arm to wave hello and his mouth opened as he began to sob openly.

“Hey Ryan. Look. We match now.” Ryan choked on air when he saw blood stains coating his hand. Jeremy lifted his left arm and pulled his jumper aside to show three bullet wounds. One in his right shoulder, and two in his chest. Ryan gaped at him, tears rushing down his face now as he got up slowly and walked up to Jeremy, grabbing his uninjured shoulder tightly. He studied the bloodstains closely as his lips quivered and he sniffled, trying not to completely lose himself. He pulled Jeremy into a tight hug and pressed his face into his shoulder.

“You’re an absolute idiot!” Jeremy hugged him back just as tight as he felt himself slowly losing consciousness as blood continued to spill forth from his wounds. He winced slightly when Ryan hit the bruises in his sides, groaning when he brushed against the bullet wounds; Ryan apologised each time. Jeremy sobbed into Ryan’s shoulder for a moment before lifting his head and stroking Ryan’s hair with care.

“You should see the other guy”

“I don’t fucking want to!” Ryan returned, in near hysterics. His eyes were red and puffy, and now he was sniffling as he gripped to Jeremy and his blood-soaked jumper. Jeremy held Ryan close to him as his heartbeat steadily slowed down as more and more of his blood spilled from his wounds, staining his clothes. He, pulled Ryan to the bed and layed him down, he didn’t want Ryan to see him empty lifeless body once he finally lost all of his strength to keep moving. When Jeremy tried to pull away however, Ryan had him in a grip like a vice.

“Don’t go. I want to hold onto you till your very last living breath. Please Jeremy, don’t leave me to die somewhere else. Stay here and let me hold you. Please” Jeremy stood there in silence for a moment before a weak smile graced his chapped lips. He layed down in the bed next to Ryan and let him wrap his arms around him softly. Jeremy nuzzled his face into Ryan’s chest and closed his eyes before mumbling three final words.

“See you soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this for the past three months with my friends helping me go over everything and I feel it's about time I got this out there. Hope you all enjoy the story.
> 
> My tumblr: buttsbuttssbutts.tumblr.com


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